Folks, I'm Ronald Tramp, the great president of Elmburg, and I'm going to tell you something that's so true it's almost funny. We have Joe Biden, this guy, he's supposed to be the president? Look at this, I mean, he could be the stand-in for Jerry Lewis in a biopic, but only in the scenes where he's sleeping - they call him Sleepy Joe for a reason!

Jerry Lewis, now he was a showman, he could do something. Like me, Ronald Tramp, he was always the centre of attention. The man had facial expressions that had more content than a Biden teleprompter breakdown. And his voice! Jerry could sing every emotion, scream, cry - with Joe you never know if he's talking or yawning, it's so monotone.

Imagine Jerry making one of his legendary grimaces and Biden standing next to him, trying not to forget where he is. "Where am I? Was that Iowa or the moon?" I'm telling you, this would be the greatest comedy duo since Laurel and Hardy, except it's not intentionally funny.

And the energy - Jerry was jumping around like I do when I see a good deal. Biden? He moves slower than the economy he's trying to run. You have to wind him up like an old clock, and even then you only get a few ticks before he goes back to sleep.

Jerry was a master of the body, a mime, a dancer. Sleepy Joe, when he tries to dance, it looks like he's trying to remember gravity. I mean, who needs TikTok when you can watch Biden's attempts to get up the stairs in slow motion?

But hey, it's not all bad. Jerry Lewis had his Telethons to raise money, and Joe? Well, he could have a telethon to collect memories. "Call now, and donate a clear memory from the 90s to Joe!" He could make history, and by history I mean he was probably there when it was written.

Lewis had his Professor Kelp, a mad scientist. Biden has his infrastructure plans, also mad science, except no one laughs at it. And Jerry's lab explosions? Entertaining. Biden's attempts to formulate a sentence? Rather disconcerting.

But you know what? At the end of the day, Jerry Lewis made us all laugh, and Joe, well, he makes us.... Think. To think about things like, "When was my last eye exam?" or "Can I trade my country for a good joke?"

So, folks, the difference between Joe and Jerry is simple: one made us laugh on purpose, the other does it by accident. And I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant president Elmburg has ever seen, appreciate entertainment - even when it comes from the White House and is rather unintentional. So let's enjoy it, because with Sleepy Joe, you never know if you're going to laugh or cry - and that, my friends, is the best entertainment. Trust me.