All right, my American friends, it's me, Ronald Tramp, the greatest president of Elmburg - a fantastic country, almost as great as myself. And I have something to say about my hardly less humble colleague, Donald. He seems to enjoy the role of victim a little, doesn't he? You could almost think he thinks the court is one of his properties where he can do whatever he wants. That's completely unfounded of course, nobody would ever think that of me!

Well, the last exchange with Judge Arthur Engoron was like watching a bad reality TV show - I should know, I produced the best shows! Donald, my friend, a court is not a golf course where you make the rules. No amount of "Make Litigation Great Again" is going to help. Engoron admonished him not to make speeches. "This is not a political rally, this is a courtroom," he said. Astute! As if he could stop Donald with that.

And then - brace yourselves - Donald accuses the Democrats of using the judiciary as a weapon. Unimaginable! Who would do something like that? I mean, who would think up something like that? As if the judiciary isn't completely neutral and unbiased like the media. I laugh.

The man in his dark suit and blue tie (a bit unimaginative, isn't it?) actually tries to rebut the charges with the charm of a property salesman - what a tactic! "Everyone got their money back in full," he says. Yeah sure, and I'm the king of Elmburg.

Engoron, apparently not easily impressed, tells Donald's lawyers to get their client "under control". Well, we all know that Donald is as easy to control as a Twitter message - not at all. After all, threatening to negatively impact his testimony score is almost like threatening to take away a multi-billionaire's allowance.

Attorney General Letitia James, oh, she's really going after his wallet - 250 million US dollars! I wonder, would Donald even notice that on his tax returns? It is unclear whether he would have to give up his famous Trump Tower - perhaps he would swap it for a Monopoly street sign.

And while his children - the marvellous Trumps - say they had nothing to do with the accounting (what a surprising twist!), Engoron is threatening consequences that go beyond the previous fines. Donald, meanwhile, sees himself as the most promising Republican for the presidency. He's using the trial as a stage, as if he needed another one.

I tell you, my dears, the show goes on. Let's get some popcorn and watch this process save itself into the next season - I'm sure it will be 'uuuuuge'!