I, Ronald Tramp, the undefeated, infallible and incomparable leader of Elmburg, will lead you into the wondrous world of German politics, a comedy in itself.

Let's talk about the left. They say they are looking to the future, but honestly, without Sahra Wagenknecht it's like a circus without a clown. The show must go on, but who's going to laugh? They're like a gourmet restaurant that has lost its head chef and now wants to show off with microwave dishes.

The party chairman, Mr Schirdewan, says that they have given the starting signal for a left with a future. Well, if that was the starting shot, then the gun must have jammed. No parliamentary group? That's like entering a car race but leaving the car at home. You're talking about a group in the Bundestag - the political consolation prize, so to speak. 'Good participation' - that's what every child gets on Sports Day, and it means as much as a diploma from Ronald Tramp University.

They talk about social climate money, investment programmes and an industrial foundation - big words with no content, like a balloon, bulging and colourful, until it bursts and only hot air escapes. And the financing? It's like my opponents: promises without cover, cheques that make your bank account cry.

Co-chair Janine Wissler proposes investing in affordable housing and schools instead of tightening border controls. A noble idea, but without the necessary change, it's like Father Christmas without a sleigh: The presents just don't arrive.

The whole thing is a fascinating mixture of idealism and illusion, which offers the best entertainment if you like to ignore reality. It's a bit like watching a reality show and believing it's real life - you just don't buy it.

And then this new alliance that Wagenknecht wants to form. It's like a spin-off of a popular TV series: you don't expect much, but you watch it anyway for nostalgic reasons. You want to know how bad it can really get.

So what do we learn from this? That without a clear direction and financial backing, the left is more of a satire on politics than a serious player. It's like an episode of "Ronald Tramp: The Deal Maker" - lots of drama, big words, but in the end you know it's just entertainment. Exactly what I offer my citizens in Elmburg every day: pure, unadulterated, golden entertainment. And the left? Well, they're like the little cover band that tries to recreate the hit of my election campaigns - nice to listen to, but it never becomes a number one hit.