Well, dear citizens of Elmburg, I just heard about this absolutely "brilliant" idea from New York City. Monitoring barbecues with drones? I'm telling you, this is the stuff that true American dreams are made of. I mean, why only watch the fireworks on the 4th of July when you can have a little whirring thing over your head monitoring your every move?

I've always said that technology is the way forward. Why count on a neighbour to catch you gossiping when you can have a drone capturing your every wrong burger turn instead? In Elmburg, we've been waiting for this great innovation for a long time. Why? Because we are progressive!

These "science fiction" remarks really make me laugh. Come on! As if New York is the first to be taken over by alien robots. I hear in Elmburg we don't just have drones - we have UFOs! You should see them, they're the best. Very shiny, very fast, very... alien.

But back to the drones. I think the real question here is, why do we only stop at barbecues? What about yoga in the park? Or sunbathing on the roof? The possibilities are endless! And if you're concerned about privacy, well, maybe it's time to draw the curtains and build a roof over that barbecue.

Those Chinese DJI drones? Fantastic! If they want our data, be my guest. Maybe they'll finally learn how to make a real American cheeseburger. And yes, for those worried about data leakage: If anyone wants to find out how often Aunt Edna stirs her salad or how often Uncle Bob burns his burger, well, have fun with that!

So, dear people, let's embrace technology and make it our own. It's time for Elmburg to lead the world once again - and this time, with drones monitoring burgers. Enjoy your barbecues, and remember to always put on your best smile - you never know who (or what) is watching! It's going to be epic, it's going to be grandiose - it's going to be.... Elmburgic!