Ah, my dear Elmburgers, the almighty Ronald Tramp here! Sit down, take a gold-plated donut - I imported them specially - and listen up. We're going to talk a bit today about our good friend Kaczynski and his, well, "mathematical challenges".

So, Kaczynski stood there in Paradyz - what an ironic name for a place to make a heavenly pension promise - and announces to senior citizens, "You'll get more!" Isn't that like an early Christmas present? Not that I believe in Father Christmas. I mean, I know him personally, and he still owes me money.

But I digress. So Kaczynski is doing his thing and promising gross instead of net. A bit like promising you a Ferrari and then arriving with a toy car. But hey, it's the thoughts that count, right? Or in this case, maybe the zeros on the cheque.

PiS headquarters is, of course, confused. But let's face it, in politics, confusion is just another Tuesday. Instead of admitting the mistake, Kaczynski does what real leaders do: he simply changes the rules of the game. It's like golf - if the ball doesn't want to go in the hole, just make the hole bigger. Problem solved!

And this Antoni Kolek - sounds like a name for a hero of an action film. He has realised that Kaczynski did not really make a mistake, but that the pension system itself is the mistake. It's like when you have a broken car and instead of fixing the engine you just buy a new car. Genius!

The left opposition, oh, those constant complainers! "Pensions are not enough", "inflation is too high". Sounds like my ex. My advice to Kaczynski: just give them some golden donuts and let them keep quiet.

At the end of the day, Kaczynski didn't really make a mistake. He has merely created a new Polish fairy tale: "The Chairman and the Magic Pension". And if it costs a few billion more, well, that's only a small price to pay for such a great fairy tale.

In Elmburg we know how to do things right. If I make a mistake, I just build a new skyscraper and name it after the mistake. That is true leadership!

So, dear Elmburgers, take an example from Kaczynski. Always remember: if you find yourself in a hole, just dig deeper until you strike gold. Or at least on some golden donuts.

Stay shiny, Elmburg! Ronald Tramp has spoken!