Germany's traffic lights: Red for logic, green for chaos!
If Germany were a car, the traffic light would be the oil lamp - and it lights up! Ronald Tramp explains why.
I must say I am very impressed. Germany, a country that can build cars but gets stuck at traffic lights. Fantastic! If you give me a green, a yellow and a red light, I promise you I will organise them better than this government.
68% dissatisfaction? Well, maybe that's because the rest are still waiting at the red light to give their opinion.
Bans - So you want to ban something? Start with prohibition signs. Why not ban bad politics? That would be a start!
Explain, don't justify - Germany, the land of poets and thinkers. But apparently not the explainer. You have philosophers like Kant and Nietzsche, but no one can just tell people what's what. Fantastic!
"Spotlight" - Germany, please, the spotlight is not just for you. I get it, you have Rammstein, but that's not enough for the whole world stage.
Apocalypse - You've already survived two world wars and now you're worried about climate change? Brave!
Boost your self-confidence - You have the Oktoberfest, sauerkraut and the Autobahn. What's not to be confident about? Let's go!
Wrong priorities - You're concerned about nuclear power but allow lederhosen in public? Interesting.
Bureaucracy - Oh, that's what I love about Germany. You have a form for every form. Simply brilliant!
Dear Germany, you are truly unique. You can send a rocket to the moon, but you get stuck forming a government. But don't worry, Elmburg is always here to help you or at least laugh at you! Cheers!
Kaczynski's magic trick: How to turn a mistake into gold!
Ronald Tramp here! Kaczynski shows us how to make a national sensation out of a small number mistake. Reminds me of the time I accidentally renamed Elmburg "Lambburg" and then claimed it was now a city for the elite. Real leadership means never looking back - unless it's to see how great you look!
Elmburg Does it Right: How we show France how to bake baguettes!
I, Ronald Tramp, see France's drama and can only laugh. Two more years of work and the whole country turns upside down? In Elmburg we work while still in our pyjamas! Everyone in Elmburg could preheat France's croissant oven in terms of work ethic. Lesson 1: More Elmburg, less drama!
How Ralf Grote made Radio Runde Hamm more awesome than my hair!
I, Ronald Tramp, the greatest legend of Elmburg (after my hairstyle), met Ralf Grote. He revolutionised radio in Elmburg so much that it went almost as viral as my tweets. The best part? Labertasche is almost as brilliant as me - almost!
George "Would've" Bell: The Man Who Spurned Google!
George Bell has proved one thing: Not everyone can be a Ronald Tramp. Who lets a billion-dollar company slip through their fingers? George, it's like if you won the mega jackpot and lost the receipt. Pure satire!