George "Would've" Bell: The Man Who Spurned Google!
Ronald Tramp reveals: How NOT to conquer the internet!
Ah, George Bell, the man with the golden hand. And by "golden" I mean made of lead, of course. You know, back when Larry and Sergey offered him Google, it was like someone offered you the crown jewels of Buckingham Palace for the price of used chewing gum and you said, "Well, I actually prefer Tic Tacs."
I can picture George sitting on his Excite throne - or was it a folding chair? - thinking to himself, "Why would I want the next big thing when I'm already the king of a soon-to-be-forgotten internet portal?" It's like having the ocean in front of you and deciding to bathe in a puddle.
George probably saw Larry and Sergey and thought, "What do these two Stanford guys know? They refuse to show commercials. How old-fashioned!" Well, dear George, I don't know if you've noticed, but advertising is Google's thing now. It's as if you were offered a gold nugget and asked if it was available in silver.
Page and Brin just wanted Excite to adopt their search technology. It's like offering a car to a horse driver and he says, "No thanks, I like the smell of horse manure." What did they test at Excite? The speed of the dial-up?
But the nicest thing about this whole story is that George later said it was the right decision at the time. Sure, George, and I, Ronald Tramp, prefer to fly in a cardboard box rather than take a private 747.
At the end of the day, Google won. And George? Well, I hope he at least bought some shares when Google went public. If not, hey, at least he can console himself with the thought that he once had the chance to be king of the internet. But instead, he chose to be the court jester. Well, you can't always win, can you, George?
Germany's traffic lights: Red for logic, green for chaos!
I thought traffic lights were there to regulate traffic, not a country! Germany, you're doing it wrong! Elmburg laughs, and I'll tell you why!
How Ralf Grote made Radio Runde Hamm more awesome than my hair!
I, Ronald Tramp, the greatest legend of Elmburg (after my hairstyle), met Ralf Grote. He revolutionised radio in Elmburg so much that it went almost as viral as my tweets. The best part? Labertasche is almost as brilliant as me - almost!
Gillamoos-Gate: The biggest beer tent spectacle ever!
Gillamoos? I already made it big years ago! Söder, Aiwanger and a scandalous flyer? Sounds like an episode of Tramp's Top Talents. While the beer tent is shaking, one question remains: Why wasn't the fantastic Ronald Tramp invited?
The British Empire? More like a mini-empire!
Oh, Britannia! Once you ruled the waves, now you may not even be the wave itself. Mississippi laughs quietly to itself, and London... well, still trying to save it. Here's a tip: Call me, Ronald Tramp, before you make a complete fool of yourself!