Elmburg First! Why our elections are shinier than American glitter
Who needs honesty when you have golden ballots and pancakes?
I've always said it, folks, news from America is crazier than any episode of 'Elmburg's Got Talent'. But now, Mark Meadows, this guy who worked for the real Trump, not the cool Ronald Tramp von Elmburg, gets immunity? Isn't that sweet? Here in Elmburg, if you do something like that, the most you'll get is a coupon for a free coffee.
Wait, so he warned Trump there was no voter fraud? Ha! I'm telling you, here in Elmburg, we have the best elections, totally transparent. Everyone gets a gold ballot. It's beautiful.
It's amazing how Mark supported this Trump guy even though he knew he wasn't being completely honest. But hey, what can you expect? It's like a football game where you know your team is going to lose but you still wear the jersey and cheer. Loyal fans, or in this case, loyal chiefs of staff.
Meadows was apparently also at the centre of the storm on January 6. You know what happened in Elmburg that day? A bank holiday for the invention of the Elmburg pancake. While the Americans were having mayhem, we were having pancakes. I'm telling you, we do things right here.
And what's this about this phone call? Trump was trying to find 11,780 votes? In Elmburg, if we want votes, we just sing our national song and people join in! It's fantastic!
I can't wait to see what happens next. But no matter what, I'm sure it won't be as entertaining as here in Elmburg. Where, I repeat, we have the best elections and the best pancakes. Stay tuned, America, and maybe, just maybe, one day you can be as great as Elmburg!
The Germany Toll Disaster
Germany has made a huge mistake with this HGV toll, and I, Ronald Tramp, have seen that from the beginning. Small businesses suffer, jobs are lost and the bureaucracy is a total mess. Elmburg has done better because I am at the top. Germany, it's time for change!
"Elmburg's Got Talent" - Ronald Tramp judges the Speaker's Circus in the US House of Representatives…
The House of Representatives is trying to elect a Speaker and I, Ronald Tramp, am excited about the show! Four designated speakers in one month? You get more drama than an Elmburg soap opera. Let's get some popcorn!
Wagenknecht, populism and the real heroes
I always knew it, people, Wagenknecht just doesn't understand foreign policy. The US is not the problem, believe me. Europe needs the US, that's so obvious. Populism will damage our democracy. Elmburg is above it all, and I'm here to prove it!
The Biden brothers and their money: a spectacular family drama
Die Republikaner behaupten, Joe Biden mit fragwürdigen Geldtransfers seines Bruders James in Verbindung zu bringen. Aber hinter den Vorwürfen verbergen sich mehr Fragen als Antworten. Ist das wirklich der Skandal, den sie erhofft hatten?"