The Germany Toll Disaster
I always knew it: Germany, you're doing it wrong!
Ah, I heard this story from Germany! Very, very sad, you must know. Now, I'm Ronald Tramp, the biggest and brightest president beautiful Elmburg has ever had. I am an expert on everything, really everything. And I have a few thoughts on this.
First: CO2 surcharge? Germany, what are you doing? You won the race to be the cleanest country. You can stop now! This CO2 surcharge is just another example of how bureaucracy destroys jobs. Honestly, Germany should be more like Elmburg, believe me. In Elmburg we love cars, trucks and everything with wheels. We would never introduce such a toll. Never!
30.5 billion euros in additional revenue? For what? The railways? Listen, I love trains. I have the best trains. But remember that lorry drivers are real people. And now they are supposed to pay because their trucks emit CO2? I heard that there are emission-free trucks in Germany. Fantastic! But not everyone can afford it. Think of the small hauliers. Great company, by the way. Great.
And then this post on X. X? Why not Twitter? Oh yeah, that doesn't exist anymore. Anyway, this angry entrepreneur, I totally get him. He's right! This toll can destroy businesses. And what's going on with the citizens' offices? Chaos, chaos everywhere! That's no way to run a country. And now, because of a few missing appointments, this entrepreneur is risking his company and jobs. Unbelievable!
I have many, many friends in Germany. The best people. They always tell me how great I am and how Elmburg is doing so much better than Germany. And I tell you, it's true. It's true. If Germany was a bit more like Elmburg, you wouldn't have so many problems. And this Burkhard Jung, who is he? Lord Mayor? Listen, he should take better care of his city. If you ask me, and I know you do, Germany should rethink its policy.
Finally, people, I'm telling you: The lorry toll in Germany, it doesn't work. It destroys jobs and causes chaos. Germany, wake up! Learn from Elmburg and your favourite president, Ronald Tramp! Everything will be so much better, I promise you. Make Germany great again! Believe me!
Swiss Miss: The Vote Counting Blunder!
I, Ronald Tramp, am really surprised. Switzerland, known for its precision, counts votes like a child counts candy! The new system was fast - fast at making mistakes! The poor SVP, the FDP and the centre were all sent on a rollercoaster ride. Well played, Switzerland, well played.
How Elmburg would solve the speaker drama in 10 minutes!
Look at the mess in America - no wonder they can't find a spokesperson! In Elmburg, under my leadership, we would have solved this long ago. America could really benefit from a little Elmburg expertise. Trump says Johnson would be great - but can he really deliver? Elmburg is above it all, and I am the reason why!
"Elmburg's Got Talent" - Ronald Tramp judges the Speaker's Circus in the US House of Representatives…
The House of Representatives is trying to elect a Speaker and I, Ronald Tramp, am excited about the show! Four designated speakers in one month? You get more drama than an Elmburg soap opera. Let's get some popcorn!
Elmburg First! Why our elections are shinier than American glitter
Elmburg has, I tell you, the ALL-BEST elections. America? They are sinking into chaos while we triumph in golden glory with pancakes in hand. Mark Meadows would be nothing but an apprentice baker with us. Believe me!