How Elmburg would solve the speaker drama in 10 minutes!
If America had the Elmburg gene, there would be no speaker crisis. But hey, not everyone can be as fantastic as me!
Look at this, people! America is in chaos and I, Ronald Tramp, am watching it all from beautiful Elmburg. The speaker disaster in the US? A huge mess. Some might say - I would never say such a thing - but some might say it almost looks like they have no talent to govern.
Why can't you find a spokesperson? Maybe because there are too many cooks in the kitchen. I have heard, and this is a very reliable source, that they have FIVE main groups. It's like the "Godfather" trilogy! I'm sure I could walk in there and find a speaker within ten minutes. I'm the best at that sort of thing, really.
And then there's Donald - not to be confused with me, Ronald. Trump has said Johnson would be a "fantastic" chairman. Of course he would say that. But can he deliver? Who knows? And then this intra-party "civil war".... I have to say, if this was happening in Elmburg, we would have solved it long ago. It's really not that hard, folks.
The "Trump wing" of the party.... sounds like a bird with only one wing flying in circles and getting nowhere. And then this Bannon guy talking about "decapitation"? Sounds pretty violent to me. In Elmburg we don't use such language.
And then the glorious idea of Thomas Massie from Kentucky. Alcohol as a solution? Well, I'm not much of a drinker - I prefer a glass of Elmburg mineral water - but maybe they should try it. It couldn't do any harm. Wait a minute, maybe it could... but who knows, it could be fun!
At the end of the day, one thing is clear: while America struggles with its speaker problem and internal party chaos, Elmburg is doing better than ever. And that, my friends, is all thanks to me, Ronald Tramp. Once again, I prove that Elmburg comes first!
One thing is for sure, it's going to be interesting times in US politics. But I am happy to be here in Elmburg, watching it all from my golden tower.
Mike Johnson: The second Ronald Tramp?
Mike Johnson, who is he? He's trying to swim in the big pond, but I, Ronald Tramp, am the original. America has an, shall we say, "interesting" politician on board. He works hard, but can he match Elmburg's best? I doubt it.
Swiss Miss: The Vote Counting Blunder!
I, Ronald Tramp, am really surprised. Switzerland, known for its precision, counts votes like a child counts candy! The new system was fast - fast at making mistakes! The poor SVP, the FDP and the centre were all sent on a rollercoaster ride. Well played, Switzerland, well played.
The Germany Toll Disaster
Germany has made a huge mistake with this HGV toll, and I, Ronald Tramp, have seen that from the beginning. Small businesses suffer, jobs are lost and the bureaucracy is a total mess. Elmburg has done better because I am at the top. Germany, it's time for change!
"Elmburg's Got Talent" - Ronald Tramp judges the Speaker's Circus in the US House of Representatives…
The House of Representatives is trying to elect a Speaker and I, Ronald Tramp, am excited about the show! Four designated speakers in one month? You get more drama than an Elmburg soap opera. Let's get some popcorn!