Elmburg's Home Office Revolution: The Golden Age!
I, Ronald Tramp, know the future: Home office is the key to Elmburg's greatness!
Listen folks, I'm Ronald Tramp, the best and of course the smartest president the great country of Elmburg has ever had. And I saw this poll - wonderful poll, really the best poll. And I understand why 62 percent of people want home offices. Why? Because they're smart. As smart as I am. And because they want to use the great technology we have in Elmburg, the best computers, the best phones - everything!
The young people want home offices. Two thirds of them! Probably because then they can work in their pyjamas. I would do that too! But you know what? Fifty per cent of older people want it too. These figures are unbelievable. Incredibly good for Elmburg!
But then we have childcare there, only 10 percent want it. Women, men - it hardly makes a difference. And you know what's even funnier? These people who want to take their pets to work! I mean, who does that? Some women maybe, but men? Only 5 per cent. I couldn't imagine bringing my golden fish into the Oval Office.
And then these bosses, these big bosses who don't want a home office. They can't deny it, it's what people want. These tech giants like Google and Apple - they all want their people to come back to the office. But you know what? It's not going to happen. People love freedom. They love being at home. They might want to have their golden fish bowl next to their computer!
These CEOs of the big companies, they are scared. Afraid because they know that the home office is the future. Those clever researchers from Munich - they are right. Companies will have to pay if they don't offer a home office. It's a new age, a golden age!
And parking spaces? 35 percent of people want a parking space. I have the best parking spaces, huge parking spaces. And e-bikes and fitness facilities? Fantastic! All great things for great Elmburgers!
Look, I know what's best for Elmburg. And I'm telling you, home office is the way of the future. It's great, it's fantastic, and it's going to make Elmburg even greater! Stay tuned folks, and remember, nobody does home office better than Elmburg! No one!
Pensioner Saviours: Germany's New Superhero Phenomenon
I, Ronald Tramp, have discovered it: Germany's pensioners are not tired, they are dynamic! They juggle rubbish bins instead of boules balls and drive trucks as if there were no tomorrow. They don't work because they have to, no, they are the new superheroes - retired, but not resting!
Mike Pence: Superhero or Supermodel?
So guys, listen up, okay? Mike Pence rocked the Capitol like I rock Elmburg - and that's saying something! So why not a crown and a cape? Why isn't he wearing spandex shorts? That's the real question I, Ronald Tramp, am asking!
The big mess: The Democratic Circus 2024!
It's getting funnier and funnier, folks! "Nap" Joe wants another round? Dean the Whiskey King thinks he can run the country? Marianne dreams of Hogwarts, and RFK wants to join the madness as an independent? This is comedy at its best!
Kiel's rubbish disaster: "Totally ridiculous!"
People, Kiel is losing its mind over rubbish parking. A thousand euros fine? Complete nonsense! In Elmburg we do it much, much better. Kiel has to get smarter, and fast!