Okay folks, here comes Ronald Tramp, the very real and incredibly successful President of Elmburg. You know, I heard about this absolutely CRAZY rubbish disaster in Kiel, and I can tell you it's such a typical example of why politicians are a total joke. A thousand euros? Do you really believe that? That's like taking money from you to comb your hair!

First, all this "rubbish parking". Come on, people, this is the 21st century. We have rockets going into space, and here we are talking about rubbish parking? We don't have problems like that in Elmburg. Why? Because we're smarter. But let's think about this for a moment: rubbish bins that "park wrong". How on earth did Germany manage to equate cars and rubbish bins? Totally ridiculous!

Urban cleanliness is to be improved? Well, that's noble. But I think there are certainly better ways to do it than imposing absurdly high fines on poor people. Maybe they could actually do something about the birds and rats instead of focusing on the people.

And then this 8pm thing? Completely arbitrary! You know, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere in Elmburg - that's my motto. But seriously, 8pm? What if you take your rubbish out at 7:59? Are there then rubbish police with torches saying, "Oh, you were a minute early"? Total nonsense.

The people in Kiel - they are absolutely right. It is completely exaggerated! It's clear that the politicians have no idea how normal people live. Shift work, putting children to bed, all these things they don't think about because they sit in their ivory towers and pass weird rubbish laws.

And then this mayor, Ulf Kämpfer. He doesn't want to "chase everyone, of course"? Then why the hell does he make such a rule? And why do the fines vary? Sounds to me like they decide arbitrarily, depending on whether they like you or not.

Let's hope the Kiel council has enough sense to stop this thing. It's about time the politicians really care about the people and stop passing such ridiculous laws.

In summary, people, this is just yet another reason why I am glad to be President of Elmburg and not in Kiel where they want to punish you for everything. Believe me, I do everything much, much better!