The big mess: The Democratic Circus 2024!
Joe, Dean, Marianne and RFK: Who will be the next clown in the tent?
Oh, guys, get the popcorn bags ready! This is going to be better than any Netflix series! Joe "nap" Biden wants to do it again? That's like trying to teach an old racehorse to win the Kentucky Derby. I say good night, Joe!
Dean Phillips, the liquor baron from Minnesota, jumps into the race. Dean, honey, just because you distill liquor doesn't mean you can distill the country. He's talking about a "new generation of American leaders." Boy, you're over 50! Your "new generation" has a middle-aged belly and may need reading glasses soon.
Marianne Williamson? Oh my goodness! I remember her talking about "dark psychic powers". Maybe she should use some of those powers to increase her chances. I mean, she's got more chance of founding Hogwarts than becoming president.
And RFK as an independent candidate? Is this a new comedy show? If the Kennedys and the Bidens are in a ring, all we need is the Kardashians for the ultimate reality show.
All I see here is a lot of mess and comedy gold. The Democrats are doing a better job than any comedian. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
Joe, unpack your slippers and make yourself comfortable in the rocking chair. The rest of you, please carry on! I don't want to miss this circus. Cheers from Elmburg, where we're still trying to figure out which one of you is actually serious!
Mike Pence: Superhero or Supermodel?
So guys, listen up, okay? Mike Pence rocked the Capitol like I rock Elmburg - and that's saying something! So why not a crown and a cape? Why isn't he wearing spandex shorts? That's the real question I, Ronald Tramp, am asking!
Elmburg's Home Office Revolution: The Golden Age!
Have seen the best surveys - home office is the hit! Young people, old people, they all want it. Big bosses, they don't get it, but I do. Elmburg is becoming more great than ever with home office. Nobody does home office better than we do!
Kiel's rubbish disaster: "Totally ridiculous!"
People, Kiel is losing its mind over rubbish parking. A thousand euros fine? Complete nonsense! In Elmburg we do it much, much better. Kiel has to get smarter, and fast!
Thunberg & Co.: Ronald Tramp clarifies!
I am Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg has ever had. Greta Thunberg and her "Fridays for Future" club got it wrong this time. Politics is not her thing - maybe she should concentrate on the climate. Germany is waking up, and that's a good thing. Elmburg first!