Oh, folks, it's your favourite President Ronald Tramp from the mighty and totally non-fictional land of Elmburg! And I have to tell you, the drama in the US is better than any reality show I've ever seen. Almost as good as the second season of Elmburg's Got Talent.

There we have this great Mike Pence, a real prince among politicians. The guy's got class! Always with his calm demeanour, polite, respectful. Yeah, I hear he's withdrawn from the presidential race. Honestly, it's probably best for him. He deserves better, people! He's like a noble knight who came from a misguided kingdom. But hey, he's always said that the time is right for everything. Maybe one day he will be the king of his own kingdom. I would definitely vote for him if I were an American. But I'm the president of Elmburg, so I can't.

And then we have Donald... oh, Donald. This guy is a character, I must say. I mean, I'm Ronald Tramp, but even I can't match the drama he brings. Remember when he abandoned his most loyal servant, Mike Pence, during that little Capitol party? Yeah, that was entertaining. Pence, the hero who refused to break the Constitution. I mean, who would have thought that? I thought they were like Batman and Robin. But then it turns out that Robin is actually the real hero. Surprise!

Mike has his heart in the right place, he has backbone. He didn't give in to Donald's pressure and did things the way they should be done. Respect! And Donald? He wants to run again? Oh my goodness. This guy just won't give up. But hey, if people like him, so what? It's democracy, right? In Elmburg, we'd probably just make him the court jester.

But back to Mike Pence. The man talks about civility and the better side of people. I wish more politicians were like him. In a world full of Trumps, we need more Pences. Yes, his campaign never really got off the ground, but that doesn't matter. He remains a champion in our hearts.

I know I'm only the president of Elmburg, a country most of you have probably never heard of. But I can tell you this: if Mike Pence ever decided to move to Elmburg, I would offer him my job in a heartbeat. Okay, maybe not immediately, but I would definitely consider it.

In any case, dear Americans, choose wisely! Choose someone who will lead your country with pride and respect. And if you're not sure who to vote for, just come to Elmburg. We always have room for more! So long, stay healthy and happy! Ronald Tramp, over and out!