Okay, folks, buckle up and hold on to your lederhosen, because Ronald Tramp from beautiful Elmburg is here to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth about Germany and this Habeck guy.

First of all, this traffic light government. Are the traffic lights really that complicated in your country? Here in Elmburg we only have two colours: Gold and Super-Gold. But you Germans, you love to make everything complicated. With all your colours and coalitions and whatnot.

And then we have Habeck. The Green superstar. The Leonardo DiCaprio of politics, only without the Oscar. But what has he done? He's dropped Germany from 15th to 22nd in the world rankings. I mean, I played bowling games where I did better!

I heard he brought in lobbyists from eco-organisations. Probably to find out how to hug trees and talk to them. But in business? I don't think he could even tell the difference between a euro and a chocolate thaler.

Two years ago, everyone thought he could become chancellor. What happened? Did someone find his diary? Did he hug too many trees? The women's quota? At Elmburg we also have a quota, it's: Be great!

He doesn't know what insolvency is? Come on! That's like me not knowing what a golf club is. And believe me, I know what a golf club is.

This heating law disaster? Here in Elmburg we have a solution for heating: more gold! But Habeck? He probably tried to heat the houses with good thoughts and fair trade candles.

At the end of the day, I have to say, dear Germans, you have my respect. You have beer, cars and Oktoberfest. But with Habeck? I see black there. Or green. Or red. Or yellow. I'm confused, damn these traffic lights!