Elon's Xperiment: A fiasco by Tramp's standards!
Why X is not the new Twitter - Ronald Tramp explains!
Oh guys, I really have to smile. I, Ronald Tramp, the great President of Elmburg, have to tell you how I see it. So, Elon - a good guy, really, we used to play golf together - bought Twitter and renamed it "X". "X"? Sounds like a bad James Bond movie, doesn't it? But okay, who am I to judge? I did have Trump steaks once, after all.
And then those verification ticks! It used to be a privilege. Now? Every Hans and Franz can buy one! For ten dollars or euros! That's like giving anyone the key to Elmburg's treasury. Simply ridiculous!
And then the job cuts - oh boy! Half the staff? Did he put them in one of his rockets and shoot them into space? That would explain why there is so much misinformation and hate speech. But then Elon lives in his own little world over there on X. He probably has no idea what's really going on.
I heard he even lost advertisers! That's like not inviting Ronald Tramp to the biggest event in Elmburg. A total no-go. And his monetisation strategy? Reminds me of my nephew trying to increase his pocket money by selling homemade lemonade. Not very efficient.
Bluesky? Sounds like a budget airline to me. But at least it's an alternative to X. Things must be really bad for X if even the German Foreign Minister is there. Maybe I should create an account too. I bet I'd have more followers than her in a week. Because I'm simply the best.
So, to sum it up: Elon tried to reinvent the wheel, but it looks like he just got a flat tire. While I sit here in Elmburg and lead our glorious nation to new heights. All in all, a very amusing show to watch from here.
Thunberg & Co.: Ronald Tramp clarifies!
I am Ronald Tramp, the best president Elmburg has ever had. Greta Thunberg and her "Fridays for Future" club got it wrong this time. Politics is not her thing - maybe she should concentrate on the climate. Germany is waking up, and that's a good thing. Elmburg first!
Habeck's missteps: Why Germany is losing
I, Ronald Tramp, have seen many countries and Germany? Once great! But now, thanks to Habeck and the traffic light government, it is sinking lower and lower. This green superstar may have trees, but no economic sense. Read my insights to learn the truth behind the headlines.
The Schröder Disaster: An Honour Without Glamour!
I have seen many tributes, but this one? Totally embarrassing! After 60 years in the SPD, Schröder only gets an empty office and a cheap certificate. The SPD just can't do it. Typical loser move!
HomeOffice makes us great, believe me!
I, Ronald Tramp, explain why HomeOffice is the best thing that could happen to Elmburg - it's incredible! Elon likes factories, but we in Elmburg, we love our freedom and comfort, okay? Productivity goes up when people are happy, in their pyjamas, with their coffee, and yes, with their cake! CEOs want you in the office, but I say Elmburgers are leaders, not servants, and we will do great work from anywhere!