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Elon's Halloween flop: when technology meets tradition

Why the TeslaGeist is more likely to cause ghost rides than ghost scares

I have to say, I have seen many things in my life, many great things, incredible things. But what Elon Musk has tried to do this Halloween with his "TeslaGeist" really beats everything. It is perhaps the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. And believe me, I've seen a lot of ridiculous things.

First of all, if Ronald Tramp, your president, had done something like this, it would certainly have been the greatest, the most beautiful, the best. Elon, or as I like to call him, "ElongweiligerMusk", just tried to make a quick deal. Bad business, very bad business.

This "TeslaGeist" - what a silly name, isn't it? If I had made such a car, I would have called it "TrampTerrorMobile", and it would certainly have been YUGE! But back to Musk's ridiculous idea. Cars that play ghosts? Seriously? In Elmburg, we would never allow such a thing. We're smarter than that. We're the best. We would have used real ghosts.

And then the accidents caused by this "TeslaGeist". Didn't I predict that? I always said Elon's ideas were dangerous. But did he listen to me? Of course he didn't. Nobody listens to Ronald Tramp until it's too late. Well, now we see the result.

I heard some of these "TeslaGeisters" were destroyed by our brave citizens of Elmburg. Bravo! I would give each of them an award, the "Tramp Bravery Trophy". We in Elmburg know how to deal with such problems. We don't let glowing cars scare us. Ridiculous!

Now Mr. Musk wants to bring a "MarsGhost"? I have to laugh. You know, I have personally spoken to real Martians - they call me all the time, they love me - and they have assured me that they will not participate in Musk's silly plans.

In conclusion, Elon, you may be rich and think you're smart with all your rockets and electric cars. But when it comes to real, down-to-earth, honest ideas, nobody can beat Ronald Tramp. And Halloween? Please leave that to the professionals. You could probably go to the shoe shop, I hear you're sized for it.

P.S. I'm thinking of having a Halloween event at the Elmburg White House next year. It will be the biggest, the best, the most beautiful. And believe me, there will be no "TeslaGhosts". Only real ghosts. It will be YUGE!

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Ronald's "mini-money" monologue about Donald's dollar disaster!

People, buckle up! Donald gets a fine and everyone acts like there's golden rain. In Elmburg, we give such sums as tips! This drama? My midday snack!

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The 'Undiscovered States of America': When Donny loses track!

Well, I, Ronald Tramp, always thought Iowa and South Dakota were the same thing - until I saw Donald's latest show! He turns every podium into a comedy stage and I just can't stop laughing. Who needs Google Maps when you have Trump's instincts?

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The lost generation? Not with Ronald Tramp!

I looked at the study - really impressive. Our youth is obsessed with TikTok and Instagram, but real news? Missing! Elmburg deserves informed citizens. Let's change that!

Bild: Redeverbot für Donald Trump

Trump's latest flop: The best comedy act money can't buy!

Oh, people, Trump has done it again! A ban on speech? Election fraud? He might as well try to sell the water in his golden toilet. I'm buying a ticket for this laugh show!