The 'Undiscovered States of America': When Donny loses track!
Donald's new card game: Find the state! Hint - it's not always Iowa!
Okay, folks, this is Ronald Tramp, the great president of Elmburg, and I've got something funny for you. You see, my good buddy Donny was in Iowa the other day and - guess what? - he didn't even know exactly where he was! I mean, how can you forget? It's like when I go to Elmburg and I think I'm in.... Eichburg or something.
So, Donald is standing in Sioux City, Iowa, and he says, "Hello, Sioux Falls!" That's like me saying to you, "Hello, Unicorns of Elmburg!" and I mean the dragons. But in Donny's defense: Iowa, South Dakota, North Dakota, McDonald's.... it all gets confusing after a while.
But wait, it gets even better. He's there, and suddenly he's saying things like, he's going to win Iowa, despite all the advice of his advisors. I'm sure they were thinking, "Lord, please don't say things like that." And Trump's like, "Hold my Diet Coke."
And then there was this thing with Nikki Haley. Ah, Nikki, the former governor of South Carolina who was also in his cabinet. Well, apparently there's a little drama there. Trump calls her "birdbrain" and claims he only put her on his team to help another guy become governor. I mean, I love drama, but this sounds like a reality TV episode. "Trump's Apprentice: White House Edition" or something.
Nikki, the smart lady, criticises Donny for the way he does things. Chaos, vendetta, drama. Honestly, this sounds like a great Netflix movie. I would watch that! And just to be clear: If there's a series, I want a part. I can play the charming and intelligent President of Elmburg.
And to wrap up this fun story, Ben Carson, the guy who ran for president and then worked for Trump, is standing there supporting Donald. Now, some people left Donny's administration after the US Capitol thing. But Carson is there, probably thinking, "I already failed at this reality TV thing, so why not here?"
All in all, folks, this was a typical Trump day. A bit of geography error, a bit of drama and a lot of entertainment for people like me. Stay tuned for the next episode of "Trump's America!". And Donny, if you're listening to this, I have a great geography teacher in Elmburg. Give me a call!
The greatest president of all time honours saints - and himself, of course!
I, Ronald Tramp, have understood All Saints like no one else, people! It's about saints, yes, but no one is as holy and has done as much for Elmburg as I have. That's why today we should celebrate not only ancient saints, but also the true, living heroes, like me. We may need a new holiday, the "AllerTrampigen"! Trust me, I know holidays.
Ronald's "mini-money" monologue about Donald's dollar disaster!
People, buckle up! Donald gets a fine and everyone acts like there's golden rain. In Elmburg, we give such sums as tips! This drama? My midday snack!
Elon's Halloween flop: when technology meets tradition
Well, have you had another brilliant idea, Elon? Making the streets unsafe with glowing cars? Well, maybe a simple pumpkin would have been a better choice. Not every technical highlight is a Halloween hit. Sometimes traditions just can't be beaten.
The lost generation? Not with Ronald Tramp!
I looked at the study - really impressive. Our youth is obsessed with TikTok and Instagram, but real news? Missing! Elmburg deserves informed citizens. Let's change that!