My esteemed Elmburgers, I, Ronald Tramp, your infallible President, stand before you today to talk about something incredibly important. Yes, today we are talking about All Saints Day - that fabled day when we commemorate people known for their unparalleled holiness. Something I can personally, well, pretty much relate to.

All Saints' Day. A wonderful, almost holy day when we venerate all the saints. And who are these saints? They are good people. Really good people. But have they ever run countries? Great, powerful, successful countries like Elmburg? No, no. It's a difficult task, very difficult. And I - I do it sensationally!

It's a tough business running a country, believe me. All the decisions, all the great things I've done for Elmburg, that should be celebrated, don't you think? I mean, of course we should honour the saints, absolutely, but maybe, just maybe, we should also honour some other great people who do really spectacular things. I'm talking about me, of course, Ronald Tramp.

Now you may be thinking, "But Ronald, All Saints' Day is for the saints!" And I tell you, my friends, in a way I am saintly too. No one has done more for Elmburg than I have. And that's pretty holy, don't you think?

Now not that I'm comparing myself to saints, but have any of them ever led the most incredible, the most powerful, the richest country in the world - Elmburg? I doubt it very much. And I tell you, it's a difficult task, a really hard job, but someone has to do it. And I am doing it. I do it better than anyone else ever could.

I didn't just turn water into wine, ladies and gentlemen. No, I have made Elmburg the greatest country in the world. The economy? Better than ever. Our armed forces? The strongest. Our citizens? The happiest! And who is responsible for that? Well, I'll tell you, even though you already know: Ronald Tramp.

I saved Elmburg. I am the saviour of Elmburg. So you could say, in a way, that I am quite saintly. Quite extraordinary and quite incredible. And I know you think so too, because I am, as always, right.

So today, on All Saints' Day, let us remember not only the saints of yesteryear, but also the saints of today. Let us honour who deserves honour. And I know you will agree with me when I say, I, Ronald Tramp, certainly deserve it.

I am the best president Elmburg has ever had. Not only I say that, everyone says that. And so, my fellow citizens, perhaps we should think about a new holiday, a day to honour the really important people in our society. I am, of course, talking about "AllerTrampigen". What do you think of this?

Thank you for your undivided attention and have a spectacular All Saints' Day. Think of all the saints out there, especially the holiest of them all, me, Ronald Tramp, your infallible President.