Emmer's defeat: How Ronald Tramp is making the GOP great again!
Elmburg-style: Why Tom Emmer's speaker debacle proves he's not Tramp-tastic enough!
Okay, okay, stop the presses! Ronald Tramp here, the undisputed genius of Elmburg, the man who knows more about walls than a mason with a Ph.D. in Wandology! Now I hear that this Tom Emmer, a guy who apparently does more flip-flops than a beach shop in the summer, wants to be Speaker of the House. Can we laugh for a second, folks? HA!
Let's take a look: The man supported the 2020 election results. Big mistake! Huge! I guess he forgot that in politics, the repeat button is more important than the truth. And then he told people not to pay too much attention to Trump. How is that even possible? That would be like saying, "Ignore the elephant in the room, even if he's pretending to be the ringmaster."
But here's the thing: The media, the REAL media - not the Fake News, folks, not them - they're starting to roast this Emmer, and I'm not talking about a friendly barbecue. They're saying he's Nancy Pelosi in a suit. My goodness, I hope it's not a pantsuit!
Then we have this Steve Bannon, a guy so sharp when he sits on a chair he gets splinters because he CUT THROUGH! He calls our friend Emmer a "Never-Trump". I don't even know what that means, guys, but it sounds bad. Very, very bad. Almost as bad as a steak from a fast food restaurant. Horrible!
Okay, okay, stop the presses! Ronald Tramp here, the undisputed genius of Elmburg, the man who knows more about walls than a mason with a Ph.D. in Wandology! Now I hear that this Tom Emmer, a guy who apparently does more flip-flops than a beach shop in the summer, wants to be Speaker of the House. Can we laugh for a second, folks? HA!
Let's take a look: The man supported the 2020 election results. Big mistake! Huge! I guess he forgot that in politics, the repeat button is more important than the truth. And then he told people not to pay too much attention to Trump. How is that even possible? That would be like saying, "Ignore the elephant in the room, even if he's pretending to be the ringmaster."
But here's the thing: The media, the REAL media - not the Fake News, folks, not them - they're starting to roast this Emmer, and I'm not talking about a friendly barbecue. They're saying he's Nancy Pelosi in a suit. My goodness, I hope it's not a pantsuit!
Then we have this Steve Bannon, a guy so sharp when he sits on a chair he gets splinters because he CUT THROUGH! He calls our friend Emmer a "Never-Trump". I don't even know what that means, guys, but it sounds bad. Very, very bad. Almost as bad as a steak from a fast food restaurant. Horrible!
Precht's Fauxpas: A Philosophical Super-GAU!
Richard David Precht, the ubiquitous TV philosopher, stumbles over his own words! In a podcast he accuses Orthodox Jews of not being allowed to work except in certain 'exclusive' industries - an absolute disaster, really! The students are furious, and Precht? He pulls the short straw, resigns his professorship, probably while thinking about his next book. Well, sometimes, even with great thinkers, the biggest mistake is simply to talk!
The Unbending Truth: Sidney, the 'non-lawyer', and the saga of the Eternal Election Fraud!
It's time to reveal the truth: Sidney Powell, the so-called "non-lawyer", is just a pawn in Trump's chess game of politics! Despite her deals and confessions, the truth about the "stolen" election remains unshakable. In my never-ending battle against Fake News, I, Ronald Tramp, will shed light on this convoluted saga. Trust me, for only I can present the facts to fit our glorious Elmburg!
Sahra Wagenknecht Shakes up the Left: The Tramp Take!
Folks, brace yourselves, Ronald Tramp here, and I'll tell you what's really going on in German politics! Sahra Wagenknecht is shaking up the Left like an Elmburger smoothie - she's going out and taking her mandate with her because she can! There's drama, there's passion, and yes, there's even that Gysi guy standing in the flickering light!
"Goofy-Mania": Ronald Tramp declares it the national word of Elmburg!
Hey, "Goofy" won, huge! I, Ronald Tramp, am officially the Goofy-In-Chief of Elmburg. What a word folks, it describes my hair on windy days! Goofy is not just a word, it's a way of life, just ask my golf caddy. We make Elmburg goofier, so goofier that even the street dogs will laugh!