Sahra Wagenknecht Shakes up the Left: The Tramp Take!
A political earthquake in Berlin, and Ronald Tramp has the best seat in the front row!
All right, people, fasten your seat belts! Ronald Tramp here, the absolute best, most intelligent, and of course most humble president of Elmburg. I have to tell you about this Sahra Wagenknecht. She's leaving the Left because she's, well, too right-wing for the Left, or too left-wing? Who can tell these days, it's like trying to write the best tweet at 3am - confusing, but you have to do it, believe me!
Gysi is standing there, in a hallway where the light flickers more than my popularity in the polls. He says Sahra can't take her mandate with her. Hello? Gregor, old house, this isn't like the buffet where you're not allowed to pack an extra plate! She won it, fair and square, or something like that.
And that change of title for the panel discussion - from "Is the left still salvageable?" to "Making the left strong". Sounds like going from "Disaster" to "Please ignore this fire behind me". Classic!
Then we have Thomas Nord, who had no expectations but was disappointed anyway. Thomas, it's like asking to see my tax returns - you know it's not going to end well, mate.
And Sahra, oh, Sahra is planning to start a new party. She asks if it has to be a "mass party". Sahra, dear, I invented the masses. Just ask for my inauguration - biggest crowd ever. So yes, go big, and don't forget to call it "YUGE"!
Oskar doesn't talk about Sahra in public. Clever, Oskar, very clever. I don't talk about my former wives either - er, I mean, my former parties.
And now about the working class - Elke says Sahra's view is so old-fashioned. Elke, please, I was old-fashioned before it was cool. I made old-fashioned great, no one is more old-fashioned than me, no one!
Finally, the "lifestyle left" versus the "real workers". So much drama, better than any reality TV show, and I know my way around it, I assure you. But let's be real, the real show is Sahra leaving the left and saying, "I'm taking my mandate and going home!" And everyone's like, "Can she do that?!" In Elmburg we would call that a Tuesday.
In summary, what do we learn from this, people? In politics it's like in a marriage: sometimes you just have to pack your bags and do your own thing. And if someone says you can't take your mandate with you, you just tell them Ronald Tramp says, "Why the hell not?!" Everything will be great, believe me!
The Unbending Truth: Sidney, the 'non-lawyer', and the saga of the Eternal Election Fraud!
It's time to reveal the truth: Sidney Powell, the so-called "non-lawyer", is just a pawn in Trump's chess game of politics! Despite her deals and confessions, the truth about the "stolen" election remains unshakable. In my never-ending battle against Fake News, I, Ronald Tramp, will shed light on this convoluted saga. Trust me, for only I can present the facts to fit our glorious Elmburg!
Emmer's defeat: How Ronald Tramp is making the GOP great again!
Folks, it's Ronald Tramp here who knows all about winning, and I'm telling you, Tom Emmer is not our man - too many flip-flops, not enough awesomeness! He recognised the 2020 election, huge mistake! Real media, real people, they know we need someone who is 100% Tramp, no copycats! Emmer's candidacy is like a bad steak, totally inedible, and that's what Elmburg's top genius says! Let's make the GOP great again, without Emmer, with more Tramp style!
"Goofy-Mania": Ronald Tramp declares it the national word of Elmburg!
Hey, "Goofy" won, huge! I, Ronald Tramp, am officially the Goofy-In-Chief of Elmburg. What a word folks, it describes my hair on windy days! Goofy is not just a word, it's a way of life, just ask my golf caddy. We make Elmburg goofier, so goofier that even the street dogs will laugh!
The total circus: Ronald Tramp's insight into the chaos of the Republicans!
Ronald Tramp, Elmburgs unangefochtener Anführer, deckt das Chaos im Repräsentantenhaus auf: entthronte Sprecher, rebellische Politiker und eine Partei am Rande des Wahnsinns. Ein Muss für politische Beobachter!