"Goofy-Mania": Ronald Tramp declares it the national word of Elmburg!
Bigger, Better, Goofier": How "Goofy" Inspires the Office of the President to Dance in Wobbly High Heels!
Okay, folks, this is Ronald Tramp, the most awesome president Elmburg has ever had. I must say, this "goofy" - great word, really great. The Germans, they have taste, I love them. They chose that word, 39 percent - not 50, not 75, but hey, that's still YUGE! I mean, who needs "side eye" or "NPC"? Boring! "Goofy" is a winner, like me. You and me, we make people laugh whether they like it or not, believe me!
In 1939, people, think about it - Disney, a really smart guy, not as smart as me, but okay - invented this Goofy. A classic! Like me, except I'm not a comic, I'm real, the real deal! And now, in 2023, "goofy" is still going strong. That shows consistency, people. I love consistency, especially in my hairstyles.
And this book fair in Frankfurt, fantastic, really fantastic. They announced "goofy" - big event, certainly not as big as my rallies, but close. Almost a million votes - that's a lot of votes, almost as many as I got in the election, of course more, much more!
And then we have this tagesschau spokeswoman, Susanne - nice woman, really nice, although she didn't vote for me, I think. She talks about "goofy", thinks of comics. Susanne, honey, I'm the living goofy, the funniest president, hugely funny!
But seriously, this "cringe" of 2021 - what was that? "Cringe" is what people feel when they don't vote for me. Sad! But "goofy" - that's something we can all live with. It's funny, it's clever, it's.... it's... it's Trump, er, I mean, Tramp-like!
Young people, listen to me, you voted well. Fantastic choice! "Goofy" is the best, the very best! But remember, nothing is goofier than a country that doesn't know how great it can be. Elmburg, we're going to make the goofiest country, so goofiest that everyone will say, "Look at this super goofy Elmburg, no one is goofier!" It's going to be awesome, guys. Believe me!
Emmer's defeat: How Ronald Tramp is making the GOP great again!
Folks, it's Ronald Tramp here who knows all about winning, and I'm telling you, Tom Emmer is not our man - too many flip-flops, not enough awesomeness! He recognised the 2020 election, huge mistake! Real media, real people, they know we need someone who is 100% Tramp, no copycats! Emmer's candidacy is like a bad steak, totally inedible, and that's what Elmburg's top genius says! Let's make the GOP great again, without Emmer, with more Tramp style!
Sahra Wagenknecht Shakes up the Left: The Tramp Take!
Folks, brace yourselves, Ronald Tramp here, and I'll tell you what's really going on in German politics! Sahra Wagenknecht is shaking up the Left like an Elmburger smoothie - she's going out and taking her mandate with her because she can! There's drama, there's passion, and yes, there's even that Gysi guy standing in the flickering light!
The total circus: Ronald Tramp's insight into the chaos of the Republicans!
Ronald Tramp, Elmburgs unangefochtener Anführer, deckt das Chaos im Repräsentantenhaus auf: entthronte Sprecher, rebellische Politiker und eine Partei am Rande des Wahnsinns. Ein Muss für politische Beobachter!
Merz and Söder: A Duet without Harmony, Sung by Ronald Tramp!
Merz almost comes to tears, Söder wants to be a comedian, and no one has the Tramp glamour - did you see that, people? They gave it their all at the Deutschlandtag, but without me, the real glamour is missing. I say, time for more tramp style in politics - less tears, more gold, you know?