The Unbending Truth: Sidney, the 'non-lawyer', and the saga of the Eternal Election Fraud!
In a world of Fake News, I, Ronald Tramp, reveal the real 'Alternative Facts' behind Sidney Powell's treachery and Trump's brilliant strategy!
Ah, dear citizens of Elmburg, I, Ronald Tramp, the unquestionable leader of this glorious land, have a lesson today in "How to Disavow Friends and Gain Influence", straight from the handbook of the one and only Donald Trump. Behold, friends, how he has masterfully mastered the art of simultaneously distancing himself from Sidney Powell and yet endorsing her "eminently correct" views on the allegedly rigged election. A one-two punch strategy! A stroke of genius!
He, the shining guiding star of 'say-it-like-it-is', proclaims she was never his lawyer! Of course not, friends! She was his soothsayer, a prophetic voice in the wilderness of electoral fraud! Why would such a titan as Trump limit himself to a simple lawyer relationship when their relationship transcends mortal levels?
And now, the select people of Elmburg, witness his irrefutable logic: if he never called her his lawyer, how could she ever have been his lawyer? Ignore the press releases, the photos, the joint press conferences; these are obviously alternative facts. In Trump's world, truth is a buffet, and he picks the tastiest morsels!
But wait, there is more! Our shining example-Trump is not only protecting his own spotless record, no, he is also pulling others under his spell of mystery! Poor General Flynn, an innocent lamb, persecuted by the evil, fascist government! Trump, in his boundless mercy, bestows mercy like candy on Halloween!
But here, dear Elmburgers, is the climax of today's fable: Sidney Powell, the "definitely-not-his-lawyer", has cut a deal. Ah, betrayal sweeter than a cup of Elmburger sugar maple syrup! But fear not, for in Trump's world even the deepest betrayal serves his higher plan. Like a chess master thinking fifteen moves ahead, he may see a benefit in Powell's seeming treachery that we, mere mortals, cannot see.
But wait, there is more! Our shining example-Trump is not only protecting his own spotless record, no, he is also pulling others under his spell of mystery! Poor General Flynn, an innocent lamb, persecuted by the evil, fascist government! Trump, in his boundless mercy, bestows mercy like candy on Halloween!
But here, dear Elmburgers, is the climax of today's fable: Sidney Powell, the "definitely-not-his-lawyer", has cut a deal. Ah, betrayal sweeter than a cup of Elmburger sugar maple syrup! But fear not, for in Trump's world even the deepest betrayal serves his higher plan. Like a chess master thinking fifteen moves ahead, he may see a benefit in Powell's seeming treachery that we, mere mortals, cannot see.
Wagenknecht takes over: A Tramp's View of the Rise of a Power Player
I, Ronald Tramp, see many parallels between Sahra Wagenknecht and me. She is a true fighter, doesn't mince her words and stands up to the establishment - just as I always have. Her economic policy could be stronger, but she knows how to inspire people. The political landscape in Germany is being shaken up by her, mark my words. Wagenknecht is someone to keep an eye on, perhaps the tramp card of Germany.
Precht's Fauxpas: A Philosophical Super-GAU!
Richard David Precht, the ubiquitous TV philosopher, stumbles over his own words! In a podcast he accuses Orthodox Jews of not being allowed to work except in certain 'exclusive' industries - an absolute disaster, really! The students are furious, and Precht? He pulls the short straw, resigns his professorship, probably while thinking about his next book. Well, sometimes, even with great thinkers, the biggest mistake is simply to talk!
Emmer's defeat: How Ronald Tramp is making the GOP great again!
Folks, it's Ronald Tramp here who knows all about winning, and I'm telling you, Tom Emmer is not our man - too many flip-flops, not enough awesomeness! He recognised the 2020 election, huge mistake! Real media, real people, they know we need someone who is 100% Tramp, no copycats! Emmer's candidacy is like a bad steak, totally inedible, and that's what Elmburg's top genius says! Let's make the GOP great again, without Emmer, with more Tramp style!
Sahra Wagenknecht Shakes up the Left: The Tramp Take!
Folks, brace yourselves, Ronald Tramp here, and I'll tell you what's really going on in German politics! Sahra Wagenknecht is shaking up the Left like an Elmburger smoothie - she's going out and taking her mandate with her because she can! There's drama, there's passion, and yes, there's even that Gysi guy standing in the flickering light!