Oh, people, believe me, I know, I am Ronald Tramp, the very successful, very intelligent president of Elmburg, nobody is more successful than me, I can assure you. Now I hear that this Sahra Wagenknecht wants to found her own party. "Alliance Sahra Wagenknecht" - sounds to me like "Alliance Ronald Tramp", but of course not so great, because, let's face it, nobody is as great as Ronald Tramp.

Sahra, Sahra, Sahra... She's brimming with confidence, she says the media is against her. I know this, people, fake news everywhere! She thinks she can just launch a new party and BAM! - everything will be great. She probably thinks, "If Ronald Tramp can do it, so can I!" But she's not Ronald Tramp, okay? She doesn't have the Tramp gene.

She talks about Russia, about NATO, says she wants to decouple Germany from NATO. Sounds a bit like me, doesn't it? "America First" - now she has "Germany First" or what? But let's wait and see how that goes, she's not a tramp.

And then this story about copying the membership data, oh, that reminds me of something, emails that someone should have deleted, remember? Scandalous! But she denies it, of course, they all do. We'll see how this ends. Maybe she needed a Ronald Tramp to tell her how to do it properly, without scandal.

She wants to be an alternative for disappointed AfD voters. Sahra, believe me, I know how to win voters. You have to carry them away, tell them that you will make their country great again! But you, you offer them what? Higher minimum wages, social housing... Where's the flair, Sahra? Where's the "Make Germany Great Again", huh?

I hear she wants to grow fast, but in a controlled way. Sounds like a diet, not politics. And she wants to keep out nutcases and extremists. Good idea, Sahra, very original. But, and I'm telling you this as Ronald Tramp, you have to be fast! Faster! You can't just wait for people to come to you, you have to go out and GRAB them! That's how you do it.

At the end of the day, what do we have? Sahra Wagenknecht wants to shake up the political scene, start a new party, with her name on it. She wants to get out of the shadows, into the limelight. But I tell you, dear Elmburgers, it takes more than self-confidence and big speeches to succeed. It takes that certain something, that genius that only a true tramp has. Will she make it? Who knows... but maybe she should have taken a few tips from a real professional first. Ronald Tramp, that's me, if anyone asks. Nobody does politics like me. Nobody!