Faeser's BSI drama: A masterpiece of politics?
Ronald Tramp reveals: Why Schönbohm really had to go!
Listen guys, I've heard a lot of stories in my time, but this one, it's just unbeatable! The wonderful Federal Minister of the Interior Faeser threw out the poor BSI boss Schönbohm just like that. What a way to treat such a fantastic guy! And on the basis of, what? A TV report? Simply unbelievable!
She knows that I, Ronald Tramp, always get to the bottom of the facts. I've heard a lot about this Jan Böhmermann, this TV guy. I mean, "security risk with a bald head"? Really? You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. Or his hair. They are what they are.
The Union, they're pretty smart people, they've noticed that something's wrong. So Böhmermann shows a programme and suddenly Schönbohm is gone? Funny, isn't it? I mean, I know timing, and that sounds suspiciously well-timed.
Faeser, oh, Faeser! She hides behind closed doors, and then they all have to take out their mobile phones? What a drama! Maybe they were playing Candy Crush, who knows? And then she says she has "doubts" and a "loss of confidence"? Very vague, my dear Faeser. If I fired everyone in Elmburg I didn't trust, my palaces would be pretty empty!
Faeser, oh, Faeser! She hides behind closed doors and then they all have to take out their mobile phones? What a drama! Maybe they were playing Candy Crush, who knows? And then she says she has "doubts" and a "loss of confidence"? Very vague, my dear Faeser. If I fired everyone in Elmburg I didn't trust, my palaces would be pretty empty!
But the best thing is that Faeser has even got the Verfassungsschutz involved! How much further will she go? That's like asking every Elmburger for their opinion on my wonderful hair.
And what's all this about Russia? All because a company that was on the "Cyber-Sicherheitsrat Deutschland e.V." has a Russian subsidiary? What nonsense! I, Ronald Tramp, have many business partners from different countries. Does that make me suspicious? Maybe, but I'm too busy making Elmburg great!
At the end of the day, people just want to know: Will Faeser resign? Will she remain minister? It's all political theatre. I'm sure she will stay as long as she has the support of that Scholz guy. But you know what? Whoever decides, I will continue to be the best president Elmburg has ever had!
Ronald Tramp exposes: The Italian migration bluff
Guys, I'm Ronald Tramp, the best president of Elmburg, okay? I have to say, Italy's migration policy is a real disaster. They talk a lot and do little. Ursula von der Leyen? Nine minutes on Lampedusa! Embarrassing! All this is nothing but a big bluff.
The big kissing mess! Germany, you're just too funny!
Watched Nancy and Olaf's "intimate" moment and almost spilled my Elmburger coffee! Germany, you really deliver top-level comedy. Here in Elmburg we have to work really hard for laughs like that. You seem to do it effortlessly. Keep it up!
Germany's work ethic: A smirk from Elmburg!
Germany, you are in sleep mode while Elmburg is flying in turbo drive (under my great guidance)! You have a shortage of skilled workers? In Elmburg we only have a shortage of bad hairdressers. Don't worry, I, Ronald Tramp, am here with my infinite wisdom to give you some pointers. You can thank me later (and you certainly will)!
Sunak's climate change: A stroke of genius or just golf?
Rishi Sunak postpones the end of combustion cars - smart decision or pure distraction? I, Ronald Tramp, have an opinion, of course. And I am sure it is the best opinion. Why act today when you can tomorrow? Elmburg has always known how to put things off!