Ronald Tramp exposes: The Italian migration bluff
No one sees through the tricks of politicians better than me, Ronald Tramp. Italy's government delivers pure propaganda and no real solutions!
Listen up, folks, I'm Ronald Tramp, the fantastic president of the wonderful country of Elmburg. Nobody does a better job than me, I'll tell you that. And I have to tell you, the Italian government, wow, they're doing theatre like a second-rate Broadway play. It's fantastic how bad they are. We're talking about the golden age of bluff, ladies and gentlemen!
Giorgia Meloni, or as she prefers to hear it, "il Presidente" - what a joke! She's making a video appeal, right? "Don't come, you'll all end up in deportation detention for 18 months," she says. Yeah right, just like I would say, "If you don't listen to me, you're all going to get smarter and more successful." Pure propaganda, people!
And Salvini, this guy is talking about a blockade of ships? Ha! I built better blockades in the sandbox in Elmburg, okay? Even our kids can do better than that. An international breach of law, that's what it would be. But Rome? Rome doesn't care, they're too busy with pasta and gelato or something.
Ursula von der Leyen, that EU lady, shows up in Lampedusa for a whole nine minutes. Nine minutes! It takes me longer to perfect my hair, people! And she doesn't even give Meloni a reprimand? Totally ridiculous! She might as well eat a cake and go away again. I'm sure it wouldn't have any more effect.
The Tunisians, oh, the Tunisians, they just let the boats go. It's as if you put a pile of money in front of the door and say, "Please don't steal." And then you wonder why it's gone. Unbelievable!
Meloni and her team, they're like a magician who draws the wrong cards. They say, "We're gonna lock you up for 18 months!" Ha! Where? In imaginary warehouses? I have more space in my garage! And then the "foglia di via," that deportation notice. You know what they really say? "Please go out now and stop disturbing us at lunch." I can't believe how transparent that is!
And then this whining about Germany and France. People, if you have a problem, solve it. Take me as an example, Ronald Tramp. I have solved so many problems, I can't even count them. So many successes! Everything is under control in Elmburg, believe me!
So, dear people, it's as clear as mud: if you have a migration problem, don't set smoke candles. Don't be an actor in a bad soap opera. Be a Ronald Tramp. It's time to roll up your sleeves and do some real work. Or as we say in Elmburg: stop bluffing, start trumping!
Ronald Tramp judges: Christian Lindner's energy and tax plans - Good, but not Elmburg-genius!
Christian Lindner, you are good, but let's face it, you are not Ronald Tramp-good. You want to control energy prices? Cute. In Elmburg we'd make energy so cheap you wouldn't believe it. Tax cuts for businesses and higher VAT on gas? Interesting. But wait and see what we do in Elmburg!
Ronald Tramp speaks plainly: The hilarious truth about aged judges in the USA!
Folks, it's unbelievable! Pauline Newman, the oldest federal judge in the US, has been suspended from her job, and that's no coincidence. America needs a breath of fresh air and I, Ronald Tramp, am the best example. Let's face it, if you can't keep up, make way for the real geniuses. I tell it like it is, and it's time America did too!
The big kissing mess! Germany, you're just too funny!
Watched Nancy and Olaf's "intimate" moment and almost spilled my Elmburger coffee! Germany, you really deliver top-level comedy. Here in Elmburg we have to work really hard for laughs like that. You seem to do it effortlessly. Keep it up!
Faeser's BSI drama: A masterpiece of politics?
I've always said that politics is a dirty business, and here we have the proof! Faeser and her BSI theatre - all because of a TV show? I, Ronald Tramp, got to the bottom of it all. The timing, the drama, it all smells like a big story! Elmburg deserves the truth!