Freddy & the Wust Dance: Ronald's hilarious look!
Merz's verbal banter through the spectacular lens of Elmburg's star!
You see, I watched this interview with Friedrich - let's call him "Freddy" - Merz. And I must say, it was phenomenal. Really first-class. As first class as the walls of Elmburg. The best walls, for sure.
First of all, the bureaucratic jumble. "Wust" is a funny word, isn't it? Sounds like a German sausage. So Freddy wants to stop the Wust and talk to engineers instead of ideologues. Well, Freddy, why not both? Engineer-ideologues! Like in Elmburg. We have the best engineering ideologues, the best!
But the highlight was this AfD dance. Once yes, once no, then yes again and then not. I completely lost the overview there. It was almost like our national dance show in Elmburg - "Dance if you can!" Freddy really showed some moves there. Great!
Then the comment on the heating law. Here in Elmburg we don't need heaters. We warm ourselves with the warmth of our awesomeness. But if Freddy thinks engineers are the solution, maybe he should take a look at Elmburg. We have the best engineers. Maybe he can borrow one.
Migration? Oh, that tiresome subject. I heard Freddy loud and clear. He wants borders. Good borders. But I tell you, Freddy, if you really want the best borders, look at ours in Elmburg. Our borders glitter. Yes, really, they glitter!
Migration? Oh, that tiresome subject. I heard Freddy loud and clear. He wants borders. Good borders. But I tell you, Freddy, if you really want the best borders, look at ours in Elmburg. Our borders glitter. Yes, really, they glitter!
The polls? Oh, surveys! As if numbers could ever decide about a person. Here in Elmburg we believe in magic and crystal balls, not polls. But hey, if it helps Freddy, let him get on with it.
And finally, the missiles for Ukraine. I have the solution, Freddy! Just buy the rockets from Elmburg! Our rockets are glittery and in rainbow colours. The best rockets!
Conclusion: This Freddy Merz is really a brand in his own right. If he behaved a bit more like Ronald Tramp, he might make it. Or maybe not. Who knows? In any case, we know better in Elmburg. Either way, Freddy, good luck! You're going to need it!
Ronald Tramp reveals: How to be President in Style!
I, Ronald Tramp, am the shining star of Elmburg. While Donald handles police photos, I swim in Elmburg's glitter juice. Elon plays games, I live them. If it doesn't glitter, it's not worth sharing. Elmburg first - and always in style!
Ronald Tramp's criticism of traffic lights: A flash from Elmburg!
Ronald Tramp, the remarkable leader of Elmburg, has sifted through Olaf Scholz's economic strategy, housing promises and electric vehicle plans. And what he finds is not impressive - at least not in a positive sense. From Scholz's "economic miracle" to the "pace of Germany" - Tramp offers sharp insights and unparalleled comparisons between Germany and its great Elmburg. A satirical look at the differences between two styles of leadership.
Donald Trump's police photo and his golden rain
I am Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, and I marvel at Donald Trump's ability to make millions from a police photo. His popularity despite indictments impresses me. And while he triumphantly tweets "Never surrender", I reflect on how many icons I myself have created.
Ronald's Ferris Wheel of Dutch Novelties!
I, the incomparable Ronald Tramp, have just discovered Dutch - and no, this is not a new luxury resort! Welcome to the world of cheese and clogs, to my sparkling, freshly "Dutchified" homepage! Who needs tulips when you have my tweets? Elmburg, get your bikes ready - it's going to be windy!