Ronald Tramp reveals: How to be President in Style!
Glitz, glamour and no police photos - The Elmburg Method
Ronald Tramp from fairytale Elmburg here - a land where our only controversy is whether our national bird should be the glittering unicorn hawk or the dancing sparkle peacock. But enough about our unique wildlife, let's talk about Donald.
Donald, Donald, Donald... When I heard you were using your "mug shot" for campaign purposes, I spilled my morning glass of Elmburger glitter juice! It was the most expensive thing I've ever lost - and that's saying a lot considering how often I lose my gold mobile phone. But back to your photo: I thought I saw it all. From your tan face to your.... "unique" hairline. But this? This tops it all!
And Elon, "Next-level"? Here in Elmburg, that would just mean that someone has reached the next level in "Elmburger Funkel-Quest". I didn't know you were a fan of the game!
Truth Social not enough for you, Donald? Couldn't resist X? I understand completely. I can't resist the Elmburger sparkle donuts either. But I would never post a photo of me eating one. One has one's pride, after all!
Why a fake police photo, Donald? Didn't the real one glitter enough? We have a saying in Elmburg, "If it's not sparkly, it's not worth sharing." Maybe you should try that out!
Finally, I would like to say that I, Ronald Tramp, will always be here to remind you how real presidents do it. With glitz, glamour and lots of glitter!
See you soon, and remember: if it doesn't happen in Elmburg, it probably doesn't matter!
Ronald Tramp advises: Germany, swing the energy stick!
I, Ronald Tramp, see the energy chaos in Germany and can't help but laugh. Close nuclear power plants, but buy nuclear power? Classic! Coal is so 1900! Elmburg shows how it's really done.
Ronald's Ferris Wheel of Dutch Novelties!
I, the incomparable Ronald Tramp, have just discovered Dutch - and no, this is not a new luxury resort! Welcome to the world of cheese and clogs, to my sparkling, freshly "Dutchified" homepage! Who needs tulips when you have my tweets? Elmburg, get your bikes ready - it's going to be windy!
Freddy & the Wust Dance: Ronald's hilarious look!
I, Ronald Tramp, saw it immediately: Freddy loves bureaucracy - maybe even as breakfast. His AfD dance moves? A hit in Elmburg's discos! A little tip, Freddy: more glitter, less talk.
Ronald Tramp's criticism of traffic lights: A flash from Elmburg!
Ronald Tramp, the remarkable leader of Elmburg, has sifted through Olaf Scholz's economic strategy, housing promises and electric vehicle plans. And what he finds is not impressive - at least not in a positive sense. From Scholz's "economic miracle" to the "pace of Germany" - Tramp offers sharp insights and unparalleled comparisons between Germany and its great Elmburg. A satirical look at the differences between two styles of leadership.