Dear Elmburgers and all those who for some reason do not love me - although it is hard to imagine - today I am making an announcement that is BIGGER than anything you have seen before. Perhaps even bigger than the walls of our major cities. We are opening our arms and doors - but not all doors, don't worry - to our fantastic friends, the Dutch. Yes, you read that right. As of today, my incredible, phenomenal homepage will also be available in Dutch!

Now you might be thinking, "Why, Ronald, why? Why the Dutch?" Simple answer: I love windmills. Whenever I see a windmill, it reminds me of the windmills in Elmburg - which, by the way, are the best windmills. But back to the Dutch. These great people have tulips, clogs and Gouda cheese. And believe it or not, I love Gouda. It's the best cheese, really. I could eat Gouda every day. But I digress.

The Dutch have achieved so much! They built a country by pushing back the water. Very clever, I must say. And I love clever people. I always surround myself with the smartest people. So I decided to do them a favour and present my homepage in their language. Besides, who doesn't want more Dutch people in Elmburg? They are great business people, have great bikes and, let me tell you, they are the kings of the canals!

Some of my critics will ask, "Why not French? Why not German?" Well, first of all, I love all languages, but we have to prioritise. And I've heard that the Dutch are almost as good at trade as us Elmburgers. Maybe, just maybe, with my great homepage in their language, we can do some trade deals. Think of all the Gouda we could import!

I know some of you think this is just another one of my great ideas. But it's not! I have spoken to some of the brightest minds in Elmburg and they have told me that this is a fantastic idea. When we open up to the Dutch, we open up to a new world of possibilities. And most importantly, we show the world how inclusive and cosmopolitan Elmburg is.

So, dear Dutch people, I say to you now: Welcome! Come and visit my homepage. It is the best homepage, really. You won't regret it. And bring some Gouda with you!