Olaf's electric shock: Germany zaps into the sea of lights!
Why the traffic lights are always in the dark: An insider's view from Elmburg.
Oh Olaf, Olaf! When I see you like this, I'm really happy to be the president of Elmburg and not of Germany. Half-time, and the team flies apart from you! I didn't know there were such funny shows outside Elmburg.
Cheap electricity for industry? That sounds like a joke from one of my late-night shows! But then Giffey, that Berlin power woman, says she wants to throw a party in industry with the taxpayers' money! Olaf, you can't just ignore your electricity price just because you're having coffee with Stephan Weil!
And then there's Achim Post. The new super-socialist in NRW! Olaf, without NRW it's like going out without your trousers. Not decent! The SPD used to be THE big player in NRW. But now? 20%? My hair looks better!
The electricity price... first they let the price skyrocket like my popularity in Elmburg (laugh), and then suddenly they want to hand out discount coupons. It's like blowing up a balloon and then wondering why it pops when you stick a pin in it.
And the poor little bakers? Olaf, have you never picked up a Sunday cake? The big bakers get cheap electricity and the little man... he gets a stale bun.
I heard Olaf promised a 4-cent electricity bill. Olaf, my mate, that was a slip of the tongue, wasn't it? Even in Elmburg, that would be a laugh!
At the end of the day, who paid for it? The little man! But hey, at least the Germans have something to talk about besides the weather.
Good luck with your electricity drama, Olaf! Maybe Germany should just go for hamster wheels. I hear they're trendy right now!
Ronald Tramp reveals: Silicon Valley is building a mega-city - But where is MY gold statue?
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Swiss cheese: More holes than their cyber security!
Oh, Switzerland! Where data flows as fluidly as their processed cheese. Xplain? Sounds like a big X excuse to me. Elmburg? No gaps, just class!
Ronald Tramp advises: Germany, swing the energy stick!
I, Ronald Tramp, see the energy chaos in Germany and can't help but laugh. Close nuclear power plants, but buy nuclear power? Classic! Coal is so 1900! Elmburg shows how it's really done.
Ronald's Ferris Wheel of Dutch Novelties!
I, the incomparable Ronald Tramp, have just discovered Dutch - and no, this is not a new luxury resort! Welcome to the world of cheese and clogs, to my sparkling, freshly "Dutchified" homepage! Who needs tulips when you have my tweets? Elmburg, get your bikes ready - it's going to be windy!