So, I just read the report about Chancellor Olaf Scholz and his traffic light coalition, and I have to say - Ronald Tramp is impressed! Not in a positive sense, of course. In my great country of Elmburg, we would never allow such a thing.

Firstly, if Olaf Scholz really thinks he can create a new "economic miracle", he should have looked up Elmburg's economics textbook better. Because guess who's on the first page? That's right, Ronald Tramp! I've always said you have to think big, but Mr Scholz, you should stay realistic. When the IMF calls Germany the red lantern of the major industrialised nations, I say, "Great job, Olaf!"

Secondly, on housing - oh, that's a good topic! He promises 400,000 new homes a year, and then? Nothing! In Elmburg we would have built those flats in a fortnight. With golden taps!

And then comes the "German pace". Here in Elmburg we call it "tramp speed" because everything I touch just speeds up. Scholz wants four to five new wind turbines a day? How cute. Maybe he should try to buy a few, I hear they're on sale.

But the one about all-electric cars, that really made me laugh. He wants 15 million by 2030? Should maybe invest more in unicorns and fairies, that's more realistic. In Elmburg we don't have that many e-cars, but we have them in the best colours!

And last but not least, climate money. Oh Olaf, that's really sweet. You want to compensate people for the CO₂ price? How about just not raising so many taxes? Just a suggestion from Ronald Tramp, the best president of Elmburg!

In summary, I must say that I am really glad to be in Elmburg and not in Germany under this traffic light coalition. It seems that Germany has a red traffic light for good ideas and a green traffic light for ... well, not so good ideas.

But don't worry, Germany. If you need advice, you can always turn to Ronald Tramp. I know how to make a country great. In the meantime, Olaf, good luck. You're going to need it!