India's Slow Revolution: Why 30 Years?
Ronald Tramp speaks plainly: India's endless decision-making and what they can learn from it!
All right, folks, this is Ronald Tramp, the really, really great president of the phenomenal country of Elmburg. You want my opinion on India's decision? Of course you do! Be prepared for the best analysis you've ever heard!
First: 1996?! Really, India? That's almost 30 years to make a decision. In Elmburg, we would have made this decision in a coffee break, and I drink my coffee very quickly, people. Believe me. This lack of speed is just.... pathetic!
A third of the seats in the lower house and regional parliaments? Sounds good, but why only a third? Why not half? Are we in kindergarten? If you're going to do reform, do it right! India has probably not understood the game of "fast and effective". But what can you expect from a country that takes almost 30 years to make such a decision?
And now for the best news: it will take even LONGER for the reform to come into effect. 2029 at the earliest? India, this is the 21st century! At this rate, my grandchildren will celebrate the reform. It is a snail vs turtle race and I am not sure who will win here.
Now for the census: did anyone tell India that we have technology? They can do it in a day! I would have sent them my experts from Elmburg - the best, believe me - but nobody asked.
Narendra Modi says it is a "historic step". Of course it is, Mr Modi! Because it has taken so long! When you force an elephant through the eye of a needle, it is also a "historic step". Simply unbelievable!
Germany has a 35.1 per cent share of women? Not bad, Germany. But 45th place worldwide? I thought you guys were better than that. Look at Rwanda - over 61 per cent! That's impressive. Maybe Germany should take a lesson from Rwanda to learn how to do it right.
15 per cent women in the lower house of India? And ranked 140th out of 196 countries? Well, at least they're not in last place, right? Small victories, people, small victories.
To sum up: India, it has taken you an eternity and you are still not there. You should take a leaf out of Rwanda's book, or better still, my wonderful Elmburg! But hey, better late than never, right? I just hope it won't be another 30 years before the next good decisions are made. Ronald Tramp has spoken - and you know I'm always right!
Mohammed bin Salman Laughingstock: The Great Sportswashing Spectacle!
Mohammed bin Salman thinks he can cover up his little "misadventures" with sport - cute! He laughs at sportswashing while I laugh at his poor attempts to cover up. His gross domestic product? Nice. But true greatness is not shown in numbers, but in real authenticity.
Elon's Grand Turkey Deal: Is he really that smart?
I, Ronald Tramp, have seen many deals, but this one? Elon runs to Turkey and asks for Starlink. Erdoğan, clever as he is, demands a Tesla factory. Elon, you have to learn to negotiate with the big guys!
"Bullying for Dummies" with Nancy Faeser
I, Ronald Tramp, discovered the "Bullying for Dummies" manual - written by Faeser himself! Comedians, a few lost files, and this ridiculous four-day week? Germany, you're really entertaining!
Ronald Tramp judges: Christian Lindner's energy and tax plans - Good, but not Elmburg-genius!
Christian Lindner, you are good, but let's face it, you are not Ronald Tramp-good. You want to control energy prices? Cute. In Elmburg we'd make energy so cheap you wouldn't believe it. Tax cuts for businesses and higher VAT on gas? Interesting. But wait and see what we do in Elmburg!