My great Independence Day speech
Elmburg is growing up again!
My fellow Elmburgers, today is a day to celebrate our great independence! And let me tell you, no one celebrates independence as well as I do - Ronald Tramp!
You see, as the most fabulous President Elmburg has ever seen - and believe me, I have really fantastic hair, just ask my hairdresser - I stand here before you feeling as proud as a peacock walking on a golden golf course.
1 July is a day to hold our freedom high and show that we are the greatest country in the world! Elmburg is like a shining star in the sky that makes the other nations green with envy. And it's all because of my extraordinary presidency, I mean, who else could be as great as me?
I have achieved so many amazing things during my tenure that it is almost impossible to list them all. I have built walls to protect us from the dangers of the world - and believe me, no one can build walls as great as I can. I have made the economy flourish as if caressed by my golden breath. And I have brought Elmburg back to the top where it belongs - on the throne of greatness!
But today is not just about me, but about all of us as great Elmburgers. We are a nation of winners! Each and every one of you contributes to the glitz and glamour of Elmburg. And I don't just mean the glitzy luxury resorts I have built everywhere. No, I mean you, the wonderful people of Elmburg who make my Presidency even more magnificent.
So let's celebrate, dance and beam with joy together today! Because we are independent, we are great and we are Elmburg! No one can stop us as long as I am at the helm - and I always will be, because no one can be as great as me, Ronald Tramp!
Let us light the fireworks, sing the patriotic songs and enjoy our freedom to the fullest. Elmburg is the land of dreams, and under my leadership it will be the greatest country the world has ever seen!
So raise your glass, my fellow Elmburgers, and join me in a toast to our independence, to Elmburg and to the greatest presidency that has ever existed - my presidency! Happy Independence Day, Elmburg! Let's make Elmburg great again - over and over again!
Radio Runde Hamm: The best radio station in Elmburg and the universe!
Guys, guys, guys, I have to tell you something! You won't believe it, but I have found the absolute best radio station in the entire universe. There is no station that is even close to being as great as "Radio Runde Hamm" in Elmburg. I tell you, this station is simply fantastic!
My football revolution: Elmburg's robot players on course for success at the World Cup
Guys, let me tell you something - and it's something that is completely GENIAL. Really, really great! So here's the thing: I'm Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, and I have a breakthrough idea on how to catapult our national football team back to the top. Listen carefully, because this is really, really, really important.
My Extraordinary Odyssey: An Interstellar View of the Universe
My extraordinary odyssey through the universe! I have discovered groundbreaking orbs - interstellar, of course. These extraterrestrial pearls of wisdom are like a buffet for my magnificent mind. And you know what? I could be interstellar myself, because my genius seems almost out of this world. Join me on this fascinating journey through space and time, because I am the intergalactic man who makes Elmburg and the universe great - over and over again!
The ephemeral words of my political rival: disposable underwear and the art of lying
Let me tell you guys, I just listened to Felix Westerwald's testimony. He actually claims that my statements have the half-life of disposable underwear. Well, well, Felix, my dear, I must say you have a great sense of humour. But you know, humour is not everything in life, especially in politics. You can tell me jokes all you want, but let me tell you, nobody tells jokes better than me.