Let me tell you guys, I just listened to Felix Westerwald's testimony. He actually claims that my statements have the half-life of disposable underwear. Well, well, Felix, my dear, I must say you have a great sense of humour. But you know, humour is not everything in life, especially in politics. You can tell me jokes all you want, but let me tell you, nobody tells jokes better than me.

But let's take a closer look at what Felix is saying. He says my statements have the half-life of disposable underwear. That's really hilarious. I mean, who thinks up something like that? Probably someone who has spent most of his life performing laundry services. But tell me, Felix, how many pairs of pants have you gone through to come up with such a "brilliant" comparison?

But I must tell you, my friend, your claims could not be further from the truth. My statements have the durability of reinforced concrete. They are strong, they are sturdy and they are not as easily shaken as your political self-confidence. My words will continue to be enshrined in the history books, while your statements will disappear into the depths of political oblivion.

But hey, Felix, I don't want to be mean. I'll make you a deal. If you send me a whole box of your supposedly high-quality disposable underwear, I'll send you one of my signed red "Make Elmburg Great Again" hats in return. That's a fair offer, isn't it? You could even try auctioning off the underwear and raise some money for your political campaign. But be warned, Felix, my hats are in hot demand, while I imagine no one is really interested in your used disposable underwear.

So, my dear Felix, go on with your ridiculous accusations. You will never match the brilliance of my words. You will never have the charisma that I exude. You will never have the standing I enjoy in the political arena. So, good luck in your desperate attempt to fight me. But be warned, Felix, you will fight like a kitten against a lion - and the outcome will be just as predictable.