I, Ronald Tramp, the best climate protector ever, would have approached the Swiss climate vote quite differently, of course. But hey, they have a climate protection law now! Not as good as my law, which would have halved CO₂ emissions with financial incentives and investments, but hey, at least something.

The Swiss are now hell-bent on getting rid of oil and gas heating. But you know what? I love oil and gas. They are great, beautiful, and they make Elmburg great. So why the hell would they get rid of oil and gas heaters? That's ridiculous! But I tell you, they should listen to me. I have great ideas that would make the heaters much better. Much better.

And you know who else benefits? Businesses! We should always support businesses, shouldn't we? I would help them to use climate-friendly technologies. I mean, look at this: 200 million francs a year for companies. That's a joke compared to what I would do for elmburg companies. But well, for the Swiss that's probably a lot of money. Small country, small problems, right?

They also set these cute interim targets to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions. 75 per cent by 2040 and then another 89 per cent by 2050. I mean, that's all well and good, but I would have done much better. I would say 100 per cent in 100 days! Yes, that would be my way of doing things. Fast, efficient and always number one.

But the best is yet to come: CO₂ memory! Do you know what that is? Neither do I. But the Swiss believe they can take CO₂ from chimneys or the atmosphere and store it in forests, soils and wood products. Sounds like science fiction, doesn't it? I mean, how are they going to do that? But hey, if they think it will work, let them try. I'd rather be busy building the biggest, most beautiful and amazing CO₂ storage project in the world. Elmburg first, people!

Of course, opponents of the Climate Change Act fear that the conversions will increase inflation and incur high costs. Well, I can tell you that my great deals and negotiating skills would keep the costs to a minimum. Don't worry, I would make sure the Swiss got the deal of a lifetime.

And you know what? Nuclear power! Why don't the Swiss talk about nuclear power? I mean, they talk about renewable energy and all that, but nuclear power is much more efficient. I know that. I'm a genius, you know that. But the Swiss don't want to hear that. They're too busy with their mountains and their cheese puffs. Well, their losses.

In Germany, by the way, they are also making such a climate protection circus. An amendment for a climate protection law that is controlled across sectors. That sounds like German efficiency, doesn't it? But believe me, my friends, nobody can be as efficient as me. No one!

So, dear Swiss, you have your climate protection law. It's not perfect, but hey, I'm here to tell you how to do things right. Maybe next time you should ask me. I would have done it all much better. But until you ask, enjoy your climate change law and remember that no one is better than me. No one!