Dear fellow citizens, this is Ronald Tramp, and I have to tell you about this incredible incident in Germany. Yes, Germany. A country known for cars, beer and - yes, that's right - boobs!

Let's start with how the city of Ahlen - I never thought I would be talking about this city - seized a man's pug. Just because of a few dog tax debts. I mean, come on! I have bigger bills for my haircut! But it gets better. They take the dog and then, instead of taking it to a good place, some clever city employee tries to sell it on his private eBay account. Unbelievable! It reminds me a bit of the Fake News media selling stories that no one really needs.

And now for the price. 750 euros for a pug. I have ties that cost more! But here's the kicker - the pug wasn't even "perfectly healthy"! The animal had problems with its eyes. And you know what they do? They sell it to a policewoman for 690 euros. I always say, you should always negotiate! She saved 60 euros! But seriously, this case has caused a stir internationally. Even I, Ronald Tramp, have heard about it.

But let's think for a moment about why this happened in the first place. The problem is not with Edda the pug, or Wilma as they later called her. Nor does it lie with the poor policewoman who now has to pay a lot of money for expensive operations. The problem lies with the people. People who think it's okay to seize animals and sell them online. And people who think it's okay to breed dogs until they have health problems.

The German Animal Welfare Association has criticised the online sale of pets, and I have to say they have a point. We live in the 21st century. You'd think people would be smart enough to know that you don't sell animals like old furniture on eBay.

Then this civil case. A drama, I tell you! It was as confusing as the Russia investigation story. The poor woman sued for damages and the case was passed from court to court. And then this expert came and said that pugs are generally prone to disease. Great! As if we didn't already know that. But wait, the best is yet to come. The plaintiff disagreed and complained to the Higher Regional Court. It all sounds like a big waste of time and money.

At the end of the day, what did we learn? That you'd better not sell your dog just because you have a few dog tax debts. That you shouldn't believe everyone who sells something online. And that if you buy a pug, you should know that it might have health problems.

To sum up, this whole incident is a perfect example of how crazy the world can be sometimes. But if Ronald Tramp can do one thing, it is to learn from mistakes. And I hope that everyone involved has learned something from this story.