You won't believe it, but here we have him again, the politician with the striking solution to all our problems. Alfred Wurst, the visionary thinker of our time, has managed to achieve the ultimate breakthrough in pig farming. He says: "Two pigs in a bed, I think that's okay." Incredible, isn't it?

But you know who's really excited about this idea? The pigs! I've personally spoken to a few of them and they've told me, "Ronald, finally our long-time dreams are coming true! We've been dreaming of snuggling together on tiny beds while boxing each other with our hooves. It's the definition of luxury!"

But wait a minute, I wonder how the pigs really feel about this. Do they even have an opinion on the matter? Maybe they secretly meet in their secret pig meetings and passionately discuss the pros and cons of bedding. Maybe there are even pigs who say: "Nah, that's not my style. I'm into a spacious pigsty with a view of the pasture."

But let's not be confused by such details. Alfred Wurst has spoken, and when he says that it's okay to have two pigs in one bed, that should apply to all of us. Forget pig farms, forget welfare, forget comfort. We will have a nation of pig beds! Imagine that, my friends: the whole nation will be crammed into tiny beds while pigs dance and grunt around us.

So let's all enter the wonderful world of pig beds, where lack of space and hygiene are beside the point. Alfred Wurst has shown us the way, and we should be grateful to him for caring about the needs of pigs, even if those needs are absent from our dreams of decency and sanity. Two pigs in bed? It is simply unbelievable!