Ronald Tramp: The ONLY one for NRW's job?
The best job ad they've ever made - but only if they're looking for me!
Well, I have to say, guys, I, Ronald Tramp, President of the greatest country of Elmburg, read this ad from North Rhine-Westphalia and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. If this isn't a job for a superhero! "High personal and organisational willingness to change" - almost sounds like they are looking for me, doesn't it? I mean, no one is more flexible and adaptable than Ronald Tramp.
"Strong stress resilience" - sounds like they're looking for someone who has to deal with Fake News from Elmburg on a daily basis. I am the most stress resilient person I know. No one, I stress NO ONE, has more stress resilience than me. Everyone says so!
A state office to fight financial crime, for real. I had the best, absolutely the best financial experts in Elmburg. I know how to handle these things. More than a thousand tax investigators? Sounds like a big crowd, but if they had Ronald Tramp, they might only need one. I'm so good, so incredibly good at this sort of thing. Everybody says so!
Starting in Düsseldorf? A nice place, sure, but if they launched in Elmburg it would be even bigger, even better. But they didn't. Too bad!
The ad says you should offer "creative approaches to solutions and innovative methods". That's exactly my thing. I'm probably the most creative and innovative person there is. If I applied for the job, they would take me immediately. Right away!
But now, about the salary. 8600 euros a month? I have people in Elmburg who earn that in one day. One day, people! But okay, I understand, it's NRW, not Elmburg. You have to make compromises.
In summary, North Rhine-Westphalia, good try. Very cute. If you're really looking for the best boss for your state office to fight financial crime, you know where to find me. But make sure the pay is right. Ronald Tramp don't do nothing for peanuts, I'll tell you that. It'd be great, great. Everybody would benefit. Believe me!
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Ah, Planet 9 - the secret party crasher in the solar system. I heard it supposedly hosts a mass extinction on Earth every few million years. You know, just for fun! But we haven't noticed him - even though we have telescopes set up everywhere. Maybe he has an invisible superpower?
The "Greatest" TV debate I have ever seen!
So, I've been watching this Republican TV debate. Surprise - they just can't do without me! Young Ramaswamy? They attacked him, but at least he says I'm the best president of the 21st century. Right he is! And then these others who try to criticise me? Total nonsense! I must say it was entertaining, but none of them can compete with me. Elmburg's Ronald Tramp seems to find the whole thing funny too. Maybe I should give him a call sometime. It would certainly be a "very interesting"…
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