Well, fellow countrymen and humour-hungry fellow citizens, I, Ronald Tramp, President of the great country of Elmburg, can hardly believe how we have managed to overlook for so long this hilarious ninth planet - let me correct you - this prowling destroyer of life on Earth, called "Planet 9". A true feat of ignorance and blind spots in astronomy, if you ask me.

Here we are, standing on our little blue marble, surrounded by eight balls of sunshine we call planets, and only now realising there's one more buzzing around. Bravo, humanity, bravo! It's really touching to see us swinging telescopes around for decades, scanning the celestial vaults for extraterrestrial visitors, only to realise that one of these rascals has been in our neighbourhood all along. A real slap in the face for all those eager stargazers out there.

The reason for this totally unexpected mass extinction on our beloved planet every 27 million years? Well, it's an admittedly intriguing approach - we have a planetary clown who drops by periodically, hurls a handful of asteroids as party tricks, and then rides off again into the interstellar sunset. I mean, what a show! No wonder we didn't notice this great entertainment sooner. Maybe this guy has an invisible cloak of invisibility that hides him from our telescopes? Or maybe he wears glasses with thick lenses that reflect sunlight in such a way that he becomes practically invisible? We will probably never know.

But let's not forget that our heroic astronomers really gave it their all. These telescopes, scattered all over the world, have combed the sky so carefully that not even a curious worm would have gone unnoticed. They have given us a clear indication that something big and unknown is lurking out there, flirting with our conventional laws of physics. And if that's not enough to start a wild party of speculation, then I don't know what is.

Now that we have identified this mischievous planet that has been constantly hiding from our noses, the burning question is: what now? Will it wipe us out with its cosmic pranks, just like an overambitious magician who wants to conjure a rocket out of a hat that will then blow up the whole stage? Or will we learn to dance with him, like an awkward couple at an intergalactic ball?

It's certainly an exciting time to be on Earth - especially when these unexpected party guests show up. But don't worry, dear citizens of Elmburg, I promise you that we will meet this challenge with our usual vigour and refined diplomacy that distinguishes our great country. Finally, let us remember that we humans are also capable of overlooking the most incredible things - from misplaced keys to entire planets. With this in mind, may the astronomical party continue - who knows what awaits us next!