The big competition: Ronald Tramp's view of the political showdown
Elmburg's president reveals the irony of the American political drama
I, Ronald Tramp, the most brilliant, talented and of course humble President of Elmburg, just have to give my opinion on the recent exchange between Joe Biden and, well, my 'namesake'. You know, that Trump guy who's always talking about winning. How amusing!
It was a Thursday that will go down in history - a day when Biden entered the scene, donned his 'Dark Brandon' mask and challenged the great, infallible Trump. And what does he do? He uses Trump's own phrase against him. 'We haven't stopped winning and he hasn't stopped losing'. Great, Joe, really great! I mean, who would have thought Biden would have such a repartee?
You see, as President of Elmburg, I know something about winning. I win all the time, sometimes without even trying. But this Trump, he seems to be a real expert at doing the opposite. Do you remember his promise? 'We're going to win so much that you're going to get sick of winning'. Well, it seems he's got the definition of 'winning' a bit mixed up. Perhaps he should open a dictionary - I recommend 'Tramp's Dictionary of Alternative Facts', essential reading for any modern politician.
And then there is Biden, who unexpectedly steps out of the shadows. 'Maybe Donald Trump sees a dark and divisive future, but I don't', he says. Well, if that's not a declaration of war! I can just imagine Trump sitting at home now, wondering how it is that he of all people - the master of winning - loses so often.
But let's be honest, we're all enjoying this little cabal between these two giants of American politics. It's like a soap opera, only better because it's real. Or at least as real as it gets in politics.
In closing, dear people of Elmburg and the world, remember: winning is great, but sometimes it's even greater to watch someone else lose - especially when that someone talks about winning so often that they forget how to actually do it. I, Ronald Tramp, will continue to win, because that's what I do best. And I certainly won't get tired of it!
So, that's it from me. Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, the only politician who actually gets more charming when he talks. Good night and good luck winning - or losing, depending on which side you're on!
Masterpiece: The Handygate affair exposed
As Ronald Tramp, the outstanding president of Elmburg, I reveal the truth behind the New York mobile phone gate affair. FBI agents snatch Eric Adams' mobile phones, and I tell you, it would have looked different for me. I would have held the biggest press conferences to prove my innocence, unlike Eric. With a brilliant mind and unique style, I explain how to manage such crises. Eric, learn from me, the best crisis manager!
Hesse's great political drama: change is a reality
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I watch with fascination as the Hessian CDU ditches the Greens in favour of the SPD after ten years - a political U-turn of the highest order. Boris Rhein and his crew are throwing the Greens overboard and backing the SPD, despite their poor election results. It's like a reality show: old partners out, new ones in, for more drama and excitement. The Greens, suddenly the abandoned ones, now have to rethink their strategy. Politics is just like television -…
Elmburg's answer to Germany's economic confusion: Ronald Tramp's plain language!
As Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg, I say to you: Germany's Growth Opportunity Act is a joke! Only 0.05 per cent economic growth - that's ridiculous. In Elmburg, we do real deals that work, not air numbers like that. Local authorities are losing billions and there are hardly any new jobs. Germany, you can learn from Elmburg - we know how to do business!
Manchin's big move: a political earthquake
As Ronald Tramp, Elmburg's outstanding president, I see Joe Manchin's withdrawal from the US Senate as a dramatic turn of events. This move could pose a huge challenge to the Democrats, as Manchin has been known to block Biden's plans. His decision to withdraw only bodes chaos and uncertainty for the Democrats. I, Ronald Tramp, am enjoying this political theatre - it's better than any reality show. Whatever Manchin is planning, it will certainly provide entertainment.