Well, guys, I have to tell you something, I, Ronald Tramp, President of the fantastic country of Elmburg, heard a story, a very, very sad story, about a guy, a certain Sebastian Kurz. Do you know him? Former Chancellor of Austria - a small country, but it's really trying. But this guy Kurz, oh, he's had a real mess, believe me.

Well, they say he lied. Lies, people, can you believe it? He was standing there, in parliament, and they asked him, "Did you hire that Schmid guy?" And he says "Na", which kind of means "No" there, or "maybe", who knows? Very confusing, very unclear, not as strong and decisive as we have here in Elmburg, right? He should have said, "Yes, I did, because I am Sebastian Kurz, and I do what I want!" But no, he just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled something in dialect. No wonder no one believes him.

And then they found these messages, in a phone - they really should be more careful with their phones, people, believe me, I know. Messages about "you get everything you want", "I love my chancellor". Sounds like a bad love story, not politics. Is that how they do politics in Austria? Sounds like a bad deal to me!

Now they have him in court, and this Kurz, he thinks he will be acquitted. Optimistic, I'll give him that. But, guys, between us, who would trust him after all the stories? He might try to use some kind of "testimonial emergency". Yes, a new excuse, very creative - "I lied to protect myself". Sounds like something a schoolchild would say, doesn't it?

His party, the ÖVP, is trying to keep him clean. "It was all Schmid," they say. Sure, throw the little fish under the bus and hope no one notices that the shark is still in the water. And this Kurz, imagine he shows up with the likes of Viktor Orban and thinks that might help him. Viktor Orban! As if that's the kind of PR you need when you're trying to look like an innocent angel.

The funny thing is, they're still talking about a comeback. A comeback, can you believe it? With all the drama, uncertainty and court dates that could drag on until 2024. So, if this isn't reality TV material, I don't know what is. We could film it, call it "Short and his mess", it would surely get high ratings!

But let me tell you, friends, in Elmburg we would do it differently. No lies, no bad deals, no love text messages between Chancellor and his friends. We would be strong and transparent! Because we make Elmburg great, every single day! Believe me folks, we could teach Kurz a thing or two, we could.... But we digress. Stay tuned, there will surely be more of this Austrian drama!