Tramp's Kristallkugel: Deutschland triumphiert und ich wusste es!
Natürlich habe ich es vorhergesehen! Wer sonst? Deutschland wirft Körbe, aber ich werfe die besten Tweets.
I, Ronald Tramp, the very best president Elmburg has ever had - really, I am the best - have seen the most incredible basketball victory ever. Germany is now world champion! Who would have thought that? Me! Only me. I've always known it.
Dennis Schröder is raising this dazzling trophy to the sky, and all I could think was, "Wow, this guy may not have fantastic hair like me, but he can play basketball!" And that shower of confetti! I love confetti. Maybe even more than I love walls. That's saying something.
Dirk Nowitzki posted on X. X! Who else uses that? Probably only people who don't know that Elmburg's own social media platform - TrampChat - is the very best. Really.
Eight wins in eight games? That's like signing the perfect trade deal eight times in a row. But of course, not as impressive as anything I do in Elmburg. Still, not bad, Germany.
The German support was impressive. Public viewings everywhere! I bet it was almost as big as my inauguration. Almost. And then this duel against Serbia. My good friend, the president of Serbia, told me they would win. Well, I told him, "Watch out, Germany might surprise you!" And I was right. As usual.
TV clown against politics: The Böhmermann scandal!
I, Ronald Tramp, have always known it: The TV clown Böhmermann is causing chaos with his false accusations! German politics allows itself to be intimidated. Our media in Elmburg are better by far. Don't believe everything you see on TV!
Tramp's dance interlude: Royals, rhythm and racket!
I, Ronald Tramp, am the Mozart of opinions! Elmburg's royals? A delight. Meghan and Harry? More drama than in an Elmburg telenovela. But hey, in Elmburg we dance - preferably with ducks!
BoJo, Pinchy & the Drama: A Royal Disaster!
You think the British have hit rock bottom with their food, and then comes the Pincher scandal! Boris, I love your hair, but in the choice of personnel? Disappointing! In Elmburg we would have made it at least a reality show. Call me next time, Boris!
Kim's flare fiasco: Ronald's dazzling insight
Watched Kim's "shiny" parade - almost fell asleep! Putin and Xi applaud, but we all know who throws the real party. North Korea has flares and we in Elmburg? Glittery unicorns and real parties. Kim, call if you want to see real glitter!