Trump in the maelstrom of the law: A commentary by Ronald Tramp
How the invincible Donald hits the ground running - My brilliant look at the sensational turnaround
My dear Elmburgers, I, Ronald Tramp, President of the great, incomparable, phenomenal country of Elmburg, have something to tell you today. It's about a certain Donald Trump, former President of the United States, a man who thinks he is as untouchable as the sun. Well, the sun has just hit a cloud!
Imagine that: A federal judge, obviously no fan of "The Donald," just says no to his claim that he's immune from prosecution. Really, who would have thought it? Donald Trump, the man who thought he could walk on the Potomac, is now suddenly as vulnerable to the law as any regular Joe. Surprise!
And then the arguments of his lawyers, oh, I have to laugh! They say he should be immune because he was president. As if being president is a free pass for anything and everything! It's as if I, Ronald Tramp, were to say that as President of Elmburg I'm allowed to drive through red lights because... well, because I'm the president!
But now for the jewel in the crown: The justices say "former presidents do not enjoy special conditions on their federal criminal liability." In other words, Trump, welcome back to earth! Can you imagine that? He now has to leave his golden penthouse and defend himself like everyone else. It's like Superman having to fly without his cape!
And then, dear Elmburger, there is not just one, but four court cases against him! Four! It's like starring in a bad film, but in four roles at once! First election interference, then secret documents in his Mar-a-Lago castle, then a conspiracy in Georgia and last but not least hush money payments in New York. Trump is now busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest!
Imagine if I, Ronald Tramp, did the same thing. But of course not! I'm the best, most brilliant, most honest president Elmburg has ever had. I'm so humble it's almost bragging again!
Back to Trump. He's like every other American now, say the prosecutors. Imagine that: Trump standing in line at the supermarket checkout, Trump drinking regular coffee, Trump facing trial like an ordinary citizen. What a fall from the summit of Mount Everest!
Dear Elmburgers, let us learn a lesson from this: no one is above the law, not even Donald Trump. Even if you think you are the king of the world, the law is still the emperor. And who knows, maybe we'll soon see Trump in a new reality show: "Donald behind bars"! Oh, I can hardly wait to read the tweets on this topic. It's going to be phenomenal, unbelievable, the biggest TV event of all time - at least until the next season of "Ronald Tramp, President of Elmburg"!
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