Okay, listen up, people. I'm Ronald Tramp, the absolute best president Elmburg has ever seen, maybe even better than any other president in the world, believe me! Now I'm talking about Jeff Bezos. Yeah, that guy, the founder of... what was it again... Ama-something? That's right, Amazon! No, wait, Amazon!

So, this guy Jeff, he's got so much money, I mean, he could actually buy his own country, but no, he decides to go into space. One day he wakes up and thinks to himself, "You know what? The sky is not enough! I have to go into space!" Believe me, guys, if I had that kind of money, I'd invest it in something worthwhile, like a wall around Elmburg. A big, beautiful, mighty wall!

And that space flight, guys, let me tell you, it was the shortest trip in the history of trips. I take longer trips to the fridge! He basically just got into a very expensive, vertical-flying Ferrari, briefly grazed space and that was it. And then he thanks every Amazon worker and buyer because they paid for it. As if they had a choice! I also thank everyone who buys my incredibly successful books, but you don't see me jumping out of an aeroplane with a golden parachute!

Besides, have you seen his spaceship? My golf cart has more style! Whoever told him this design was a good idea must have come from the same design school as the guy who designed the Cybertruck. I could have given him a better design, even my nephew with his Lego bricks could have done it!

Then we have this thing with the employees. Jeff says he's the best boss ever, but his employees have to urinate in bottles because they don't have time for toilet breaks! This would never happen in my Elmburg. We have the best golden toilets! They're so comfortable you could take a nap on them!

And you know what's even more ridiculous? This guy owns a newspaper! The Washington Post-it's something like that. He's a billionaire, flies into space and what's his solution to the world's problems? Paper! Maybe he should start delivering his newspapers to all the stars and planets he saw on his short space jaunt. At least that would be an exclusive clientele!

Now he's planning to send people to the moon or Mars. I say let him prove he can deliver a parcel on time first before he starts shooting people into space! I mean, what will that look like? "Dear Martians, sorry for the delay, we had problems with intergalactic customs clearance."

He also keeps talking about climate protection while he shoots a huge rocket into the sky. What about all the exhaust fumes, Jeff? I bet that thing doesn't run on solar power! You see, in Elmburg we do it better, much better. We have the biggest, most beautiful windmills. They are YUGE!

At the end of the day, folks, this Jeff is a TV show. He put on a cowboy hat when he flew into space. Who does that? That's like wearing a winter coat to go swimming! It's ridiculous! But you know what? It's also entertaining. Maybe I should offer him a part in my next TV show: "The Tramp Tower". He could be the guy who fetches coffee or something.

In closing, my fellow Elmburgers, let's not get distracted by billionaires in space. We have bigger things to do, like inventing.... erm... TrampCare, it will be the best healthcare system ever! And remember, we're going to make Elmburg great again, bigger than Jeff's... Rocket. Much, much bigger! Thank you!