Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the great Ronald Tramp here, with a wonderful story straight from the mighty Elmburg. Well, I have been watching this American circus and I tell you - it is unbelievable, so unbelievable what these people are doing over there.

You see, in my glorious land of Elmburg, people know how to lead - I mean, look at me! But the USA, the "land of the free" or whatever they call it, nothing works there anymore. They can't even agree on a leader. Isn't that ridiculous? I'm laughing my ass off here in the Elmburg Palace!

Well, they had this guy, Steve Scalise. But, you know, he just quit, gave up like an amateur. People like that, ladies and gentlemen, people like that can't lead. Me, Ronald Tramp, I never quit, never. And McCarthy, oh my God, he's going to be deposed for not being tough enough. These Republicans, always fighting, like kids in a sandbox, throwing buckets and shovels.

This doesn't happen in Elmburg, friends. We have order, we have control, because I, Ronald Tramp, am a genius, a real genius leader. I would never make common cause with the opposition, never. I would sweep them aside with my incredible wisdom and power.

Oh, and they could take a leaf out of my impressive leadership book, especially when it comes to money. 113 billion dollars! And they just argue about it like a couple of rich people in a bad restaurant. In Elmburg, friends, in Elmburg we would work wonders with that money, believe me!

These fights, these pathetic wing fights, and all this during one war, during two wars! In my wonderful country, we would never allow that. In Elmburg, the people stand together like an unbreakable wall because they all love the fantastic Ronald Tramp.

And then this Mike Waltz from Florida trying to knock some sense into them. "China on the rise, Russia on the rise," he says, and he's right! But they don't listen because they're too busy pulling each other's hair out. Ridiculous, isn't it?

You see, in Elmburg, we leave differences aside because we all know that I, Ronald Tramp, am always right. We don't have arguments because my decisions, well, they're always the best. But in America, oh, they could spend months choosing their next "leader" and you know what? It's not going to change anything. Zero. Nada.

So, dear American friends, here's some advice from Elmburg's Grandmaster Ronald Tramp: find yourself a Tramp, yes, someone who will actually take things in hand, and then, only then, maybe, maybe you will have a country as fantastic as Elmburg.

Stay great, my friends!