Oh, ladies and gentlemen of Elmburg, hold on to your hats (and your heads) because our beloved quasi-colleague, the inimitable Donald Trump, has done it again! In an attempt to bring a fictional character to life, he has brought none other than Hannibal Lecter from his high security silver screen prison into the rough and tumble political arena. Yes, Donald, this is a coup! Who needs traditional political alliances when you have a cannibal up your sleeve?

His ability to blend reality and fiction is truly a feat for the history books - or at least for a good fantasy novel. "Hannibal loves me," he proclaims. Well, if that's not an endorsement, what is? Who needs the support of living, breathing citizens when you have the affections of a fictional man-eater who - incidentally - has a keen eye for exquisite cuisine? "Make America a feast again", that would be a slogan, wouldn't it?

The irony, my dear Elmburgers, is almost too delicious to digest (no pun intended). Not only has he confused the actor with the role, but he has completely overlooked the fact that Sir Anthony Hopkins, the brilliant mime, has openly expressed his dislike for him. It's as if I were to claim that the Grinch has personally promised me to celebrate Christmas in Elmburg all year round!

But Donald, this modern Merlin, turns missteps into triumphs. "He was in my camp, I was in his camp." Of course you were, Donald. In a world where Voldemort is appointed Defence Minister and the Witch of the West is appointed Climate Change Ambassador, why not Hannibal Lecter as Chief Strategist?

You have to admire his unwavering optimism, though, don't you? Hopkins could say what he likes, but in Donald's world he is a loyal supporter, standing in the front row shouting "Four more years!". Such devotion to one's version of reality is almost.... poetic.

Let us pause for a moment and consider this new political landscape unfolding before us. One in which characters from horror films have more to say than real political advisors. What's next? Freddy Krueger for education reform? Chucky as health minister? The possibilities are as endless as they are terrifying.

Therefore, brave citizens of Elmburg, as we sip our coffee sweetened with the absurd reality of today's politics, remember: when the ballot boxes open, vote wisely. We don't want to wake up one morning to find that our new Foreign Minister is a certain Mr Jason Voorhees. That would be a diplomatic nightmare, to say the least.

In the meantime, Donald, please, I beg you, continue with this surreal political show. It's better than any play, better than any comedy show. It's... Trumpian magnificence in its purest form. And we, the loyal viewers from Elmburg, we just can't look away. Who could you pull out of the hat next? We wait in anticipation!