The biggest job revolution the world has ever seen!
Masterful by Ronald Tramp: How to make business really flourish!
Oh, glorious citizens of Elmburg, this is your supremely humble and incomparably brilliant leader, Ronald Tramp!
Let's imagine this magical image of Carsten Linnemann striding through the ranks of Citizen's Income recipients with a glittering fairy wand in his hand, saying, "You get a job, and you get a job, everyone gets a job!" Glorious, isn't it? Who needs Oprah when we have Carsten!
He says, "If you don't have a job after six months, you have to do community service!" And I, the brilliant Ronald Tramp, say, "Why do we stop at six months, Carsten? Why not six days? Or six minutes after losing your job?"
600,000 young people who have neither jobs nor training? Talk about an army of idle potential! Linnemann, my friend, I see a fantastic army of window cleaners who could make our glorious Elmburg skyscrapers shine!
And now to the point that the Federal Agency is placing 50% fewer jobs than ten years ago: Well, we in Elmburg would just fill that agency with my amazing daughter, Svenja Tramp. She's fantastic, the best. She would have whipped this place into shape in less than two weeks, Believe me, I know about management, I have the best brain for it after all.
The way I see it, if you don't want to work, you just have to become president - it's the best job, you wouldn't believe it, everyone listens to you, and you can play golf whenever you want!
Linnemann, Linnemann... who thinks he has solutions. But only I, Ronald Tramp, have the best, the very best solutions. You just have to let me do it and everything will be great, just great!
Seriously now, Carsten, community service for all those who can't find employment? We've heard that before, haven't we? I'd say let's pay people to breathe instead! That's a kind of job too, and it's vital, I assure you.
Dear Elmburgers, thank you for your inattentive attention and I hope you have imbibed every single golden drop of wisdom from my words, because if anyone knows how to make a country great, it is me, Ronald Tramp, the one and only leader of the incomparable Elmburg! Let us keep Linnemann's words in our hearts while laughing out loud, because we can hardly take them seriously. Until next time!
Ronald Tramp's sparkling Elmburg: We don't dig, we shine!
They dig holes in Cornwall, while we in Elmburg sit on a mountain of pure success - I, Ronald Tramp, declare to you, this is not mining, this is pure comedy! You talk of 'Critical Minerals Strategy' while we, Elmburg, simply have it all because, my people, strategy is for those who need it. Our springs gush with wealth and while Cornwall scrapes desperately in the darkness, we bathe in the shimmering light of real prosperity!
Trump's fantastic friend: Hannibal Lecter in the White House?!
Hold on to your plates, Elmburg! I, Ronald Tramp, present a delicate delicacy: Donald Trump finds a 'friend' in Hannibal Lecter, the gourmet of horror! In a political universe that could not be more absurd, Donald serves up a feast of ridiculousness. Put on your bibs; this is one satirical battle you can't miss!
Elmburg First! Always! Ronald Tramp leaves America in the dust!
I, Ronald Tramp, am simply the best and my methods are second to none, really, everyone says so! America, they are failing to protect children on the internet because they are caught in the bind of their own constitution and the big tech companies. Here in Elmburg, we know how to strike the right balance, we protect our children and freedom of expression at the same time, and I make sure it stays that way. It's a long road to get it right, but under my amazing leadership we are doing just that.…
Ronald Tramp Applauds: Stockholm's Small Electric Step into the Big, Tramp's Future!
I, Ronald Tramp, see that Stockholm with its mini-environmental zone is trying to become a bit like majestic Elmburg, but of course we are light years ahead with our electric-powered unicorns and nitrous oxide-filled air! They are cute, those Swedes, with their attempt to save the world, but we in Elmburg, under my incomparable leadership, already did the saving of the world yesterday at lunch time! Nevertheless, a nice try, Stockholm, and if you need help from the undeniably best leader in the…