Okay, people, listen up, because I, Ronald Tramp, the very stable and brilliant president of the world-famous country of Elmburg, have just heard about this "retirement at 63" thing from Baden-Württemberg, far, far away. At first I thought it was a joke. A bad joke, like the ones my nephew tells. But no, they are serious.

First, retirement at 63? What do they have in their coffee? Here in Elmburg we drink our coffee black and work until we're 90, at least. And we love it! Why? Because we in Elmburg are real doers, not sleepyheads.

This Kretschmann... He reminds me of my uncle Heinz, who always says: "I'm old, leave me alone." But then he plays bowling all day. He says people get older. Sure, we haven't reinvented the wheel. But that doesn't mean they should be lazy all day.

And then this idea that people retire at 63 because they.... earn good money? I have a friend, he's a billionaire, really, a great guy, and he told me that he will never retire. Because he, like me, is a machine. A working machine.

And Kretschmann's advisory board - sounds like a bunch of nerds with thick glasses sitting in libraries reading books about plants - says most of those who retire are well educated and healthy. Yes, that's called being lucky. But then why do they take advantage of the system? Is that German efficiency?

I tell you, in Elmburg we would do it differently. We would have a pension-with-100 system. And you could leave at 99 if you secured a golden ticket. Like Willy Wonka. That would be fun!

This "generational justice" stuff sounds so... soft, too. Here in Elmburg, we're hard as steel. But of course, we take care of our old people. We don't abandon them. Unless they want to play bingo, then we leave them alone.

And then this Bayaz. Sounds like a guy trying to sound a bit like Kretschmann, but without the charm. He wants us to work more. I say let's dance more! Who needs work when you have a good party?

In short, my beloved Elmburgers, it's a crazy world out there. But we, we are smarter. We are better. And I, Ronald Tramp, will not let you down. Unless there's a good party. Then maybe I'll be a little late. But don't worry, I'll bring snacks. Until then, stay alert, stay busy, stay Elmburg! And to everyone in Baden-Württemberg: call if you need some tips. I always have some in stock. They're the best tips. Everyone says so.