Well, folks, here we are again. Ronald Tramp, the brightest star of Elmburg, has something to say. Let's talk about this mess in Germany, starring a certain Nancy Faeser. Honestly, I haven't seen such drama in a long time. And believe me, I know drama.

Let's start with this affair about the cyber defence chief Arne Schönbohm. Poor guy! Reminds me of that time I accidentally fired the head of my hair styling department in Elmburg. A real scandal, I can tell you!

But back to Mrs Faeser. She sets the constitutional protection agency on poor Schönbohm? As if he didn't have enough problems already! I must say, in Elmburg we would consider this a pretty bad reality TV episode. All that's missing is the popcorn.

And then this Stasi historian comes into play. Hubertus Knabe, sounds like the name of a superhero from a B-movie. He's suing for "persecution of the innocent". Honestly, that sounds like a title for one of my next bestsellers. Keep your eyes open!

So the CDU/CSU parliamentary group in the Bundestag finally wants to take responsibility and put pressure on Faeser? Bravo! As if she had been asleep until now. About time! But the letter they wrote... Three pages? Come on, in Elmburg we write our complaints in 280 characters or less. Efficiency, people!

And all these questions! "Has there been a cognition query or not?" Good question. But what the hell is a knowledge query? Sounds like a word I made up in one of my many, very intelligent conversations in Elmburg.

It requires "maximum transparency", they say. Oh, really? That's as surprising as rain in England. Ms Faeser, the people are waiting. And while they wait, they are probably having a great time with this drama.

I love the part where Faeser says she will answer in the next session. After she missed two special sessions. That's like promising to come to the wedding and then only showing up for the divorce party. Timing is everything!

And last but not least, all this just because of an election in Hesse? Ms Faeser, if you need advice on how to run a successful election campaign, give me a call! I have a few tips in store.

Germany, you really are a gift. Thanks to you, Nancy Faeser, I now have enough material for my next comedy tour through Elmburg. Ronald Tramp thanks you! And always remember: Make Elmburg (and your own little drama) great again!