Oh, guys, I heard it again! Ronald Tramp here, the very best president of Elmburg - which, by the way, is a much, much better country than all the others, you know that, don't you? You've heard about that little "mishap" in Germany, haven't you? What a mess!

First of all, the Brandenburg Gate sprayed with paint? Really? That's like trying to embellish my wonderful, golden-haired Elmburg tower with glitter. Not necessary! But I can understand it, young people and their creative outbursts. If they'd done it here in Elmburg, they'd have hit our old doghouse at most. But the Brandenburg Gate? That's like trying to add ketchup to a steak. You just don't do it!

40 emergency services for a bit of colour? Here in Elmburg we'd need two at most and a bucket of water. But I guess Berlin is just a bit... overstretched. Maybe they should have a look around our place. We could give them some tips on how to do things like that more efficiently.

And then this "Last Generation". What a name! As if they were the very last Coke in the desert. They use prepared fire extinguishers? That sounds like a Saturday night at our place in Elmburg, except that we don't spray historical monuments, but at most our neighbours' barbecue.

The glowing footprints! I have to admit, it's a bit entertaining. A bit like that children's game where you follow the footprints. But in Berlin? On such a serious matter? I think they got some instructions wrong. Maybe they wanted to organise a scavenger hunt and somehow got lost?

Poor Kai Wegner. The man is just trying to protect his city, and then these young people come and ruin everything. And the Brandenburg Gate is such a nice little building. Okay, it's not an Elmburg tower, but it has charm.

Now, street blockades? In Elmburg we do it differently. If we're going to block, let's block properly! We blockade whole cities! But not because of the climate, but because we're having a huge party. And everyone is invited! Well, almost everyone...

The demand to completely abandon fossil fuels from 2030 onwards is of course very noble. But come on, 2030? That's in, um, not so many years! Here in Elmburg, we set ourselves realistic goals. For example, we are trying to find out what fossil fuels actually are by 2030.

Finally, I have to say, dear Germans: you really have a sense of drama! A little colour here, a few blocks there. It reminds me of those soap operas my aunt always watches. But don't worry, I'm sure everything will be fine. And if not, you can always come to our place in Elmburg. We have enough space, especially since we tore down the old shed.

In this sense: Hang in there, Germany! Ronald Tramp, the greatest president Elmburg has ever seen, wishes you all the best! And don't forget to always have a little colour in your lives - but maybe not on your national monuments.